


In Glass Prisms

by Child_Of_Peace



Series: Lemongrass and Sleep [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sparrow Academy (Umbrella Academy), Autistic Vanya, Can that be their new ship name?, Domestic Fluff, F/F, I did a lot more research for this than was strictly necessary, I gave them modern technology to help them to communicate better..., No more White Violin, Other, Post-Season/Series 02, Rainbow Violin, Reunions, Sissy is the prism that makes Vanya Rainbow Violin, The Hargreeves siblings really need that..., Vanya meets her biological mother, also, it's much gayer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25932865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Child_Of_Peace/pseuds/Child_Of_Peace
Summary: 'You are the rainbows cast in glass prisms:Refracted light splayed in a kaleidoscope of colours.When your face lights up with that beautiful smile,My world explodes into many hues.'---In which Sissy and Harlan are reunited with Vanya in Scotland 2020.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Harlan Cooper & Sissy Cooper, Harlan Cooper & Vanya Hargreeves, Sissy Cooper & Vanya Hargreeves, Sissy Cooper/Vanya Hargreeves, The Hargreeves Family
Series: Lemongrass and Sleep [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874509
Comments: 80
Kudos: 289





	1. My Home is Where You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I was trying to find somewhere in Scotland where Vanya might move, and the place I’ve settled on is actually the address of a Henderson and Gardiner LLP, but we’re going to ignore the actual build there, as I have made a build on Sims 4 which is what the house Vanya lives in will look like! (I will be adding the images as a separate fic!)
> 
> \---
> 
> Also, I have decided that Mr Pickles is the wooden Eastern Bluebird that Harlan is always carrying around.
> 
> \---
> 
> I have literally been to Scotland once to check out University of Edinburgh, so I will probably get some stuff wrong, sorry…
> 
> \---
> 
> A huge thank you to my beta, rainbowgecko, for making my life a little easier!!!

\---

_My home is where you are,_

_When you hold me close in your arms._

_With just the touch of your lips,_

_You grant me a haven from the world._

\---

Light shone through the kitchen window, hitting the sun catchers Vanya had collected from various antique shops over the past year. The prisms were casting tiny rainbows around the room, though it was the glass bluebird she had hung between them that caught Vanya’s eye as she rinsed her plate in the sink. Her heart ached with longing.

It had been over a year since she and her siblings had returned to 2019, but Vanya couldn’t forget the life she’d had in ’63. She knew she should have moved on by now, Klaus had even suggested they go on a double date a month after they’d returned, but both brother and sister had known that nothing would fill chasm left by the loss of their loves. Allison had joked that the three of them get matching T-shirts reading Lonely Hearts Club, but the joke had fallen flat.

She put the plate she had rinsed in the dishwasher, turning back to the sink to scrub the pan she had used to make spaghetti for lunch. Her mind drifted, thinking over the events of the past year.

She’d moved out to Scotland in late July 2019, unable to stay in New York any longer. Every time she had walked through the city, she remembered what she had done. The Apocalypse. Pogo. Mum. (Though Mum had survived, somehow, and hadn’t that been a huge surprise to them all.) It had all been too much. Not to mention, her apartment had been tainted by _him_.

And Scotland was nice, quiet. The farmhouse had only been attacked twice when she’d arrived, and the last incursion had been a year ago to the day. (Apparently, some of The Commission’s assassins _hadn’t_ been present at Sissy’s farm that fateful day.) But her brothers had been working with The Commission and building it up to be better than it had been before.

She was safe.

She let out a huff of air, a humourless laugh escaping her. Safe. “Safe” should mean having Harlan and Sissy back with her.

She’d talked to Five, one Saturday after Family Quiz Night (which they’d established when she and Allison had moved out as a way for the family to keep in regular contact) to see about going back. For Sissy. For Harlan. But Five had been clear, The Commission wouldn’t give her a briefcase, and despite the progress he’d made with his own powers, he still couldn’t guarantee secure passage there and back.

So she had waited. And waited. And waited. And in that time, she’d built a life here. She had chickens, only three for now, Molly, Heihei and Chickaletta (Vanya had named Molly, her first chicken, but she had let Claire name the other two). And she’d started a little vegetable patch just by the breakfast room (formerly a boot room, but the previous owners apparently thought it unnecessary). She’d thought about growing actual crops in the fields behind her house, but had decided it would be best to leave the farm-work to someone who actually knew what they were doing. Instead, she’d got a job teaching violin at Wallace High School, a twenty-minute drive from the house, and had taken up photography. She’d been selling her photos online and had made good money from it.

Everything she had done, though, she had done with Sissy and Harlan in mind. This house she had chosen for its more isolated nature, she’d designed the spare room for Harlan, she had decorated the place with things she’d known the two would appreciate. Hell, she’d had the farm’s name changed to Bluebird Mains because she knew Harlan would love it. She just _missed_ them.

Vanya had been so caught up in her own thoughts, that she almost didn’t hear the knock at the front door. She grabbed a tea-towel to dry her hands, not wanting to answer the door with soap suds between her fingers, and walked out into the hall. She hadn’t been expecting anyone, so she approached the door with apprehension. Taking a few deep breaths, she pulled the door to, blinking in the sunlight. She raised a hand to shade her eyes as she took in the figure in the entryway. She gasped.

‘Sissy!’

\---

Sissy sighed, mindlessly placing diced potatoes in the pot of stew in front of her. She and Harlan had been in California for a year now, Betty had been kind enough to allow them to stay, but it wasn’t home.

The move had been difficult, Sissy had gathered as much as could be salvaged from the ruins of the farmhouse, but there wasn’t a lot. She thanked the heavens that Harlan’s things were largely untouched.

Moving in with another family had been hard too. She’d known Betty since she was pregnant with Harlan, and they had formed a friendship through long conversations about pregnancy (Betty had told her many a horror story about the actual labour). She’d been introduced to John, Betty’s husband a couple not long after and she’d liked him well enough. When the two had moved out to California with their children, Betty had told her that if she ever needed somewhere to stay, she could come stay with them.

She’d never thought she’d take her up on that offer, but here she was. Betty and John had tried to make room for Harlan and her, but they had a small house and two children of their own. With no guest room, Harlan had been put in with Betty’s eleven-year-old son, Jack, who, thankfully, had a bunk bed. Sissy had been sleeping on the sofa, not the most comfortable place to sleep, she’d be the first to admit, but she wouldn’t complain.

The emotional trauma of moving had been the hardest part of coming out here. Harlan had been having more frequent episodes, and without Vanya, Sissy didn’t know what to do. It was obvious that Harlan felt the loss of the other woman as keenly as Sissy had, and here, in this household, he was surrounded by people who didn’t understand him. Betty and John had tried, of course, but they couldn’t connect with him the way that Vanya had.

Jack and Dorothy, however, seemed completely uninterested in befriending Harlan, though it seemed the feeling was mutual. The twins were rambunctious, and being three years older, were not best pleased at the idea of playing with the younger boy. Harlan had been quite content to stay out of their way, _especially_ when they brought home friends from school. But California was loud, and Sissy had found that Harlan had great difficulty with leaving the house. The chaos, he’d found, was a little too much for him.

But Sissy couldn’t afford to find somewhere else yet. Carl had taken the money she’d been saving, after the government took Vanya. Sissy had tried getting a job, but it had been difficult. Not many places had wanted to hire a woman from Texas (she’d also not been too keen about taking a job that would make her unavailable to Harlan). She’d found a small diner not too far from the house, decent hours, not so decent pay. And some rather unpleasant co-workers were an added bonus. But she wouldn’t complain.

She longed for the domesticity she had shared with Vanya in Texas. For the sound of Vanya reading to Harlan or playing Hide-and-Seek around the farm. She wanted to wake up with Vanya, limbs intertwined, Vanya’s head on her chest. She wanted…

She wanted Vanya.

Sissy sighed again, the fourth time in half an hour, stirring the stew with a wooden spoon.

Betty looked up. ‘Okay, what’s wrong?’ She asked her friend.

‘Hmm?’ Sissy hummed, startled. She’d almost forgotten Betty was there. ‘Oh, uh… Nothing.’

Betty looked unconvinced. ‘It’s okay to miss your husband, Sissy,’ she said softly, as though trying to soothe her.

Sissy barely withheld her scoff. Husband, right. No. How could she tell her friend about Vanya? Wonderful, beautiful Vanya, who was more of a parent to Harlan in one month than Carl had been in eight years. Who had been more attentive and loving to Sissy in one month than Carl had been for the nine years of their shitty marriage. Sure he’d been a decent man when they’d first started dating, to the point where she’d figured if she _had_ to marry a man, she could do much worse than him, but the year before they married didn’t even come _close_ to what she felt for Vanya. _Feels_ for Vanya.

No. Betty wouldn’t understand. Sissy could hardly forget her friend’s rather loud reaction to the article in _Life_ about homosexuality in San Francisco*. Betty’s comments hadn’t been overtly cruel, but Sissy had seen the disgust on her face, heard the subtle insults in her tone. Betty wouldn’t understand. And Sissy was alone, as she always had been. As she always would be.

She felt a nudge at her side and turned to see her son. Her lips pulled up at the corners. She wasn’t alone, not when she had him.

It took her a second to register what was happening. Harlan had come down from the bedroom, with the suitcases they had never unpacked. ‘Harlan? What’s going on?’ Sissy asked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Betty frown at the two of them in confusion. Harlan spared a glance at Betty before seemingly deciding she wasn’t an issue and instead staring out of the window at the garden. Sissy followed his gaze, her jaw dropping as she took in the sight.

There was some kind of doorway in the middle of the walkway, the edges glowing a soft blue. Through the doorway, stood a house, one that was most certainly not behind the doorway. Her observations were cut short by Harlan tugging at her sleeve. His face was twisted with urgency, and Sissy understood in that moment that the doorway would not stay open for long.

She took the suitcases from Harlan and met Betty’s confused gaze. ’Thank you.’ She said. ‘For allowing us to stay here, and for your friendship.’ Sissy was buzzing with excitement. She felt alive for the first time since Vanya left.

Betty made to protest, but she seemed to see something on Sissy’s face causing her to hesitate. ’Look after yourself, yeah? And the boy, too.’

Sissy nodded, and with that she shepherded Harlan out of the house and through the doorway.

\---

The doorway had closed shortly after they had stepped through it, Sissy noted as she took in her surroundings. She and Harlan were stood, hands clasped, on a gravel drive. To their left there was some sort of an open barn, littered with various materials and junk, and just ahead, in front of the house she had seen through the doorway, was an outdoor table. The house itself was beautiful, Sissy thought, with ivy growing to one side. She was interrupted from her musings by Harlan tugging her wrist, pulling her towards the front door. She let herself be dragged forward, glad Harlan seemed to know what he was doing, even if Sissy didn’t know. When Harlan gestured at the door, Sissy allowed herself half a second to collect her thoughts (and put the cases on the ground) before rapping her knuckles smartly against the wood.

The minute before the door opened felt like a lifetime. Whilst Harlan seemed sure this was where they were supposed to be (where Vanya was), Sissy was rather more cynical. And even if they _had_ found Vanya, how much time had passed? Had she moved on? What if she was living here with her new family? Was that why she hadn’t come for them? Would she be-?

‘Sissy!’

Sissy stared at the woman in the doorway. ‘Vanya,’ she breathed, and everything else faded into nothingness. She wanted to cry. She wanted to shout for all the world to hear. She wanted to fall into Vanya’s arms and never let her go, ever again. But neither of them moved, too entranced by seeing each other for the first time in almost 15 months.

Harlan took charge again, stepping in between the two of them and pushing his head into Vanya’s arm, arms tucked close to his chest and his fingers tightly grasping Mr Pickles. Vanya immediately enveloped the boy, pulling him close and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Harlan’s head. Sissy felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She’d never seen someone connect with Harlan the way Vanya had, with such surety and openness. Her love and her son were together and safe.

\---

Vanya could hardly breathe. Her mind was racing, Sissy and Harlan were _here_ in Dunblane of all places. She had so many questions. She ran her hand through Harlan’s hair, reaching out to Sissy with the other. When Sissy interlocked their fingers, Vanya tugged lightly, drawing her into the hug. There would be time for explanations later, for now she would allow herself this moment of felicity. _This_ was home.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *In 1964, the publication Life contained an article proclaiming San Francisco as the “Gay capital of the U.S.”
> 
> \---
> 
> Again, constructive criticism is welcome! And I appreciated all the comments from the last one! I will try to reply to every comment even if it is just a generic Thank You!
> 
> \---
> 
> The whole Family Quiz Night thing is based off something my best friends and I have started doing over video chat every Friday! We have a lot of fun writing the quizzes and watching everyone else struggle with our more difficult questions! I had to make it Saturday in this fic because there is a five hour time difference between Scotland and New York, so for Vanya the quiz starts at 8:00pm, but for her siblings, it starts at 3:00pm! (Side-note: Shoutout to my friends for taking in their stride the fact that I was non-verbal throughout the entirety of our last quiz!)
> 
> \---
> 
> And yes, Sissy did abandon her car at Betty’s!
> 
> \---
> 
> \- Caedyro


	2. You Lit a Fire in My Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya and Sissy finally talk. Kinda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, let my preface this by saying: Aaaaaaaaaah.
> 
> Why? I don't know, that's just my general state.
> 
> \---
> 
> So Vanya kinda has a huge monologue this chapter, which good for her. But I didn't get to write everything I wanted to write, so...
> 
> \---
> 
> Huge shoutout once more to rainbowgecko for saving my work one correction at a time!
> 
> \---
> 
> Also, I wrote a poem where each stanza starts with the chapter title. I will be adding these to the beginning of the individual chapters, so if you want to read the first stanza, you may have to go back to check the first chapter!
> 
> \---
> 
> Anyone who has found my Tumblr may know I made a post on there about looking up compliments (I specifically looked up the phrase "pretty compliments for pretty girls"), but what I didn't mention were that there were so many dodgy compliment websites. I sent a few to one of my best friends and we ended up sending one to a couple of our other best friends with zero context to see how girls would actually react to them (we didn't get responses, sorry rainbowgecko, I'm sure you were confused!). Just to clarify, the compliment was: "You have the smile of someone who knows the big secret of living beautifully. That is so charming." which, let's be real, is a little weird. Others include: "You remind me of a garden in bloom. It must be because you always look so cool, fresh and lovely." and "I'm fascinated by your lips because they always say the most amazing things and outline the most beautiful smile." Please, please, please never say these to an actual girl unironically.

\---

_You lit a fire in my shadows,_

_Chased them away with your warmth,_

_Until I no longer wore them like a cloak,_

_Scared to exist without them._

\---

The three were stood in the doorway for almost fifteen minutes before Harlan started squirming to get out of Vanya and Sissy’s arms. The two women stepped back, both wiping the tears they hadn’t realised had been streaming down their faces. Vanya moved past Sissy to bring the cases inside. Without her shoes on, she had to lean out so as not to step on the gravel.

‘Hey, Harlan, you can sit on this chair to take off your shoes.’ Vanya put the suitcases down inside the hallway, gesturing to the chair next to the front door. Harlan sat down and took off his shoes, passing them to Vanya who neatly placed them in the shoe rack next to him. Harlan watched her with wide eyes. ‘Let me take your coats.’ She continued. Harlan shrugged out of his jacket while Sissy, who had just finished placing her own shoes beside Harlan’s, pulled hers off too. Vanya took both and hung them up. ‘Well, come on in then!’

Harlan slipped his hand into Vanya’s as they stepped around the three cases in the hall. Vanya pointed out the kitchen, smiling as she felt him tug her towards it.

‘We didn’t get the chance to eat before we came here, I’m afraid.’ Sissy said apologetically and Vanya immediately shook her head.

‘That’s not a problem, I can make something for you both now.’ Vanya said, grinning affectionately as Harlan clapped his hands together in emphatic approval. ‘Harlan, how does a grilled cheese sandwich sound?’

Harlan rocked back and forth on his toes, a half-smile on his face, humming and flapping. Vanya nodded, placing her hand on his shoulder to shepherd him into the kitchen. She squeezed his shoulder, and said, ‘Why don’t you go sit down in at the table, I’ll bring it out when it’s done.’

Vanya watched as Harlan sat down in the Breakfast Room and pulled Mr Pickles out of his pocket. She shook her head lightly and pulled out a pan. Looking over at the kitchen door, she realised that Sissy had yet to move into the space, and was watching her intensely. ‘Come in, sit down. I can make you a grilled cheese too?’ Vanya suggested, wanting to break the awkward silence that had fallen over the two. She tried not to cringe at the over-familiarity of her tone. She didn’t want to make Sissy feel uncomfortable, it was a phrase she’d heard Grace use many a time, but she didn’t think she had the confidence to pull it off.

When Sissy sat down on the chair she had in the kitchen for when she was keeping an eye on a slow-cooked meal, Vanya sighed in relief.

—

Sissy couldn’t help but stare. Vanya was stunning. Especially here, in her home, making lunch for Harlan. She could hardly believe that they were in the same room again, existing in the same space. This must’ve been some kind of miracle.

Every so often Vanya would look up and smile at Sissy, as if she were worried that she would disappear, and every time Sissy would smile back at her. Sissy was sure she was wearing the sappiest expression known to mankind, but nothing could temper her happiness.

—

Vanya glanced up again, Sissy was staring at her. Shit. What if Sissy didn’t want to be here. Maybe she was forcing herself to smile so Vanya wouldn’t notice how awkward she felt. ‘You okay?’ She asked the next time she caught Sissy’s eyes, attempting to sound casual.

‘You look beautiful.’

Vanya felt her cheeks heat up and she tucked her chin to her chest to hide her blush as she took out a plate for Harlan’s lunch. She shyly peeked though the hair that curtained her face, pleasantly surprised to see that Sissy had gone a brilliant shade of red too.

—

Sissy hadn’t meant to blurt it out. Sure, she’d been thinking it, but she was sure it was too much too soon. Besides, she still hadn’t ruled out Vanya having a life here. This house was certainly too large for one person, but there didn’t seem to be any signs of anyone else here.

She noticed a flash of blue from the corner of her eye, and she leaned back to take it in. It was a stained glass bluebird. She could have sworn her heart stopped. She stood from the chair haphazardly placed in the corner of the room and reached out to touch the hanging glass.

Vanya, who had taken the sandwich to Harlan and was now walking back into the kitchen, was carefully observing her. ‘I found it in a little antique shop not far from Dunblane Station. I- It made me think of Harlan. I hoped he would like it.’ Vanya spoke quickly, but softly, as though fearing that Sissy would be angry.

And just like that, Sissy started crying. Harlan’s chair scraped, but Sissy just shook her head. Vanya hovered at her elbow hesitantly, not knowing how to react as Sissy swiped furiously at her eyes. ‘I - You mean so much to me. I didn’t get to tell you before, but you do.’ She sniffed. ‘You are everything Harlan and I have ever needed.’

Vanya stared at her for a few seconds, took a breath, then, after a couple of false starts, said, ‘I don’t think I really knew how to... care about someone like this until I met you. And there’s some history to that, but…’ Here she glanced at Harlan, who was staring at them both uncertainly. ‘But not right now.’

Sissy nodded, sitting back down to let Vanya finish making a toasted sandwich for her too.

—

After the two had finished eating, and Vanya had cleaned the dishes with Harlan’s assistance (he’d insisted, and she’d found herself unable to tell him no), Vanya took it upon herself to show them the property.

She had started by taking them to their rooms to drop of their things, taking them through to Harlan’s room first (which he had loved) and then through to the master bedroom (Vanya had offered to sleep on the sofa, not wanting Sissy to feel like she had to share with her, but Sissy had taken her hand and said ‘We’ve spent too much time apart.’ And that had been that.)

She’d pointed out the old record player which Luther had gifted her when she had moved out. (Where he had found it was anyone’s guess, but Vanya wasn’t going to question it.) She showed them her vegetable patch, (‘I wanted to actually farm the land, but like you said, I’m no farmer.’) and the swing-set, (‘I always wanted one as a child, they seemed like a lot of fun.’) and finally she took them to the chicken coop.

‘Goodness knows how I’ve kept them alive for as long as I have.’ She said, pointing through the fence to where the chickens were milling around. ‘That’s Molly, Heihei and the big one at the back is Chickaletta. My niece named the last two.’ She scratched her neck awkwardly. Suddenly shaking her head, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a notepad and pen, mumbling under her breath. She quickly scribbled something down, then underlined it three times before putting them back in her pocket. Sissy looked at her curiously, but Vanya just shrugged.

—

The three of them sat in the living room, a light breeze drifting in through the open window. Harlan, upon discovering that Vanya had purchased a vintage copy of James and the Giant Peach, had insisted that Vanya read it to him before dinner.

He had curled up between Sissy and Vanya, tucked himself into the latter’s side until she’d wrapped her right arm around his shoulders. (It had made turning the pages rather difficult, though Vanya found she couldn’t bring herself to mind.) Vanya smiled indulgently, pulling him closer and reading from the first chapter in a low voice.

They had only got halfway through the second chapter before Harlan was fast asleep.

‘He hasn’t been sleeping much since you left,’ Sissy whispered apologetically, though the relief was clear in her tone.

Vanya nodded.

A silence fell over the room.

‘So how did you get here?’ Vanya asked, curiosity finally getting the better of her.

Sissy puffed out a breath of air. ‘There was this bright blue… doorway? Anyway, Harlan seemed to know it would take us to you, though I don’t know how.’

Vanya stared at the fireplace, eyebrows furrowed in thought. She remembered Five’s return on the day of their dad’s funeral, but was this the same thing?

‘Was my brother there, on either side of the portal?’ At Sissy’s confusion, she added, ‘The boy. He was there at the barn that day.’

Sissy shook her head. ‘I didn’t see anyone else. Sorry.’

Neither spoke for a couple of minutes. Then Sissy asked, ‘So, where are we?’

‘Scotland, two thousand and twenty.’

Sissy gazed at her, eyes wide in shock. ‘Well, I’m glad we didn’t come the long way round, then!’

Vanya laughed, her face lighting up with mirth. Sissy’s eyes crinkled warmly, pleased to have elicited the gorgeous sound from the other woman.

When Vanya calmed, Sissy spoke again. ‘So why Scotland?’ She queried.

Vanya fiddled with the book in her lap with her free hand, not knowing where to begin. Sissy just patiently waited for her to find the right words.

‘When I was a child, I didn’t exactly have what you would call an easy childhood. None of us did really. But my siblings? They had each other. And I suppose I had Five. He was _there_. He listened to me play violin, even when I was crap. But then he had all these inside jokes with them that I never got because my dad isolated me from the rest of them.

‘And then Five was gone, and I had no one. My mum tried, but she had six kids to worry about and I was the least of her concerns. I left the second we all turned eighteen. My siblings had snuck out for doughnuts after a mission to celebrate. I don’t think anyone really noticed I was gone. At least, not for a few days. And even then, Dad had only tracked me down to make sure I hadn’t stopped taking my meds.’ She clenched her fists open and closed over and over in quick succession, continuing, ‘I took some classes at a local university, hoping to figure out my own path and I was living in a crappy apartment downtown, just barely making rent through teaching violin.

‘The first time I saw any of my family after I left was two years later. My brother, Klaus. He’d left not long after I did, I guess. His landlord had kicked him out for some bullshit reason. I think he’d brought a boyfriend back or something. He just needed a place to crash until he found his feet again. It was nice. Then one morning I woke up and he was just… gone.’

Sissy raised her eyebrows in sympathy, but didn’t say anything. She knew Vanya just needed to _tell_ someone.

‘Allison, my sister, came by on our 21st birthday. She told me that she and Klaus were going clubbing and invited me. I wanted to say yes, just to spend time with my siblings, but clubs have never really been my scene. It’s too loud and there are far too many people, all pressed up against you. So I said no. I think she was offended, and maybe that was my fault. I don’t think I explained myself very well. But she didn’t really try to reach out again after that. My other brothers never really tried either, but we never really had much in common besides our upbringing.

‘We’d been estranged for so long and I think there was this anger that I let fester because I could never confront them directly. So, a few years ago, I wrote a book. Just to vent. To scream into the void, I guess. I didn’t expect it to get as big as it did. Not really. I thought maybe a couple of people would read it and that would be it. But mainly I wanted my dad to see it. I was so _pissed_ at him. I sent him a copy, but he never read it. But my siblings did, or at the very least they heard about it. I think that shattered whatever tenuous relationship we may have had. I think that’s the only thing I regret about the book. Losing them.

‘Then one day this woman came along to a book signing my publisher had insisted on. I remember it like it was yesterday. She had the warmest blue eyes and a lovely Scottish brogue. She stayed behind after the event and told me I reminded her of her son. She told me she was in New York to visit him and invited me along to dinner. I still don’t know why I agreed, but I’m glad I did.

‘I met James and his girlfriend, Annie, as well as their two adopted daughters, Louise and Lucy, that night. For the first time I felt like I belonged. The woman, Evelyn, went back to Scotland not long after, but James would invite me over for family dinner every week. The girls called me Auntie. For some reason, they understood me, though I didn’t know why back then. I mean, I was at their wedding, I was there when their youngest was born. I was family.

‘Last summer, Louise, the eldest, graduated, got into Harvard, and they moved out here. Well to Perth anyway. Louise comes back for the holidays, when she’s not staying with her boyfriend and his family. We had talked about the possibility of me going with them a couple of years ago, but I was scared.

‘Then my dad died and I saw my siblings for the first time in years and everything happened so fast. The next thing I knew, it was 1963, I had no idea who I was, and the most beautiful woman I have ever seen was standing over me.’

Here, Sissy flushed scarlet. Vanya reached over Harlan (still fast asleep) with her far hand and squeezed her arm lightly.

‘After a month on the farm, I couldn’t go back to city life. It was all a bit too much. So I took up James and Annie’s offer. They’re not far from here and we still have family dinner every Sunday. This little farm was close to them and Evelyn’s less than an hour’s drive away. And when I was looking for a place, I found a school only a fifteen minute drive away that would be perfect for Harlan.’

Vanya trailed off. She was sure this was the most she’d ever said in one go, but Sissy had listened patiently, only nodding along every now and again. When it was clear that Vanya was done, Sissy wrapped her arm around Vanya, being careful not to squash Harlan between them.

‘Oh, Honey. I’m sorry you went through all of that.’ She said at last.

‘I’m not.’ Vanya replied with a shrug. ‘It led me to you.’

Sissy squeezed Vanya’s shoulder affectionately.

’So what will 2020 look like for us?’ Sissy asked nervously, a part of her still not quite sure that Vanya wanted to be with her.

‘I think we’ll have to start with setting up Doctor’s appointments for you and Harlan. There are many vaccinations that weren’t around in ’63, but you’ll both definitely need now. That’s what I wrote down earlier, I didn’t want to forget.’ Vanya said. ‘And we’ll have to get Harlan a referral to be diagnosed with autism. It’ll take a while on the NHS; I’ve been on a wait-list for almost a year. But he’s nine now, and I’d imagine it will be easier to get him a diagnosis with the paediatric department.’

‘Wait, “autism”?’ Sissy asked inquisitively.

‘Yeah. It’s a developmental disorder. It affects the way you view the world, and some, like Harlan, are non-verbal. There’s nothing wrong with him.’ Vanya couldn’t meet Sissy’s eyes. ‘James and his family are all autistic too. Not Evelyn, though.’

‘And you have it too?’

Vanya nodded stiffly. ‘Yeah. I think it’s why Harlan and I connected so easily. Finding others in your community is… It’s like… Like the world makes sense for the first time.’

Sissy inclined her head in acknowledgement. ‘And you think a diagnosis will help him?’

‘I don’t know. It’s worked out for some, but others… I really don’t know.’

Sissy closed her eyes, leaning her head back. ‘Alright,’ she said. ‘We’ll get him a diagnosis.’

Vanya leaned her head back too, resting her cheek on Sissy’s arm, observing her reaction carefully.

Sissy breathed deeply. Vanya hadn’t understood what she’d tried to hint at before, so she reworded her question. ‘How would it work?’ She questioned tentatively. ‘Us, together, in this time?’

Vanya sighed. ‘I won’t lie, it’s still not great. But it’s far better than it was before. There are still jerks, but we can be together in the open.’ She tilted her nose towards the wall behind them. ‘That flag is a symbol of gay pride.’

Sissy was stunned. ‘We don’t have to hide here?’ When Vanya shook her head in response, Sissy let out a shaky breath. ‘We don’t have to hide here,’ she repeated, letting out an incredulous laugh.

Vanya pressed a kiss to Sissy’s arm, and the two settled in, bathing in the comfort of each other’s presence. Just existing together.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got diagnosed on the NHS, and it took a little over a year from my referral until my actual diagnosis. The day after I got my diagnosis, when I told my friendship group, I said, ‘Well at least now they know what’s wrong with me.’ And one of my friends replied with ’There is nothing wrong with you, they just know what’s going on now.’ And I don’t think she knows how much those words meant to me, then and now, and how grateful I was to hear them.
> 
> \---
> 
> I didn't want to mess anything up with Harlan's communication, so I checked the NAS (National Autistic Society) website's page on communication (https://www.autism.org.uk/about/communication/communicating.aspx) only to find I already knew a lot about some of it since that's how I communicate...
> 
> \---
> 
> Sorry that Harlan wasn't really in it. There was some stuff that Vanya and Sissy needed to talk about, and that stuff does not need to be projected onto a nine-year-old, trust me.
> 
> \---
> 
> So James and Annie as well as Louise are characters from something else, but I didn’t want to make this a crossover, so I changed their names. James and Annie are from the same thing, but Louise exists in the same universe. Lucy is my own character from a book I have been trying to write for years. If you want to guess at who the characters are, I will only respond to half quotes. If your half-quote is correct, I will complete the quote.
> 
> \---
> 
> \- Caedyro


	3. With You, There is No Mundane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya and Sissy have a day out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything that seems like it doesn't fit in this, my wonderful beta reader rainbowgecko almost certainly tried to talk me out of including, but I'm stubborn...
> 
> \---
> 
> This chapter is longer than I had anticipated when I started writing, and rainbowgecko suggested I split this into two chapters, but that would mean writing a new stanza for my poem tailored to the second half of this chapter, and I can't be bothered, so you lot get a 6.6K word chapter update.
> 
> \---
> 
> My friend, Kaiko: (watching TUA 2x04 for the first time, about halfway through the ep, texting me) Are we shipping Vanya and that woman who took her in?  
> Me: (literally surrounded by pieces of paper in the process of writing this chapter) Idk, are we?  
> \- 24 minutes later -  
> Kaiko: CAEDYRO  
> Kaiko: WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY  
> Kaiko: WE WERE SHIPPING IT
> 
> Additionally:  
> Kaiko: Why does this keep happening to [Vanya]?  
> Rainbowgecko: She’s the most powerful of the siblings and the one with the least control.  
> Kaiko: And the one who keeps getting subjected to absolutely horrible circumstances.  
> Rainbowgecko: Oh yeah, that too!
> 
> Kaiko at Carl’s death: Well, that solves that problem.

\---

_With you, there is no mundane,_

_No tedium, no monotony._

_Every day is a new adventure_

_From here ’til the end of time._

_\---_

‘Harlan, honey, you’ve got to wake up,’ Sissy spoke softly, crouching down in front of the sofa and gently squeezing her son’s shoulder. Harlan groaned in response but didn’t open his eyes. ‘If you don’t wake up now, you’ll never get to sleep tonight.’

Sissy let out a light laugh as Harlan just curled closer into Vanya’s side.

She and Vanya exchanged a fond glance. Sissy nodded at Vanya, who looked confused for a second until Sissy mouthed the words, ‘ _You try_ ’ to her.

‘Harlan, I have to get up to make you dinner,’ Vanya said quietly. Harlan’s eyes shot open, much to the two women’s amusement, as though he had just realised that Vanya’s presence was not a dream. He let out a happy noise, his hand flapping, but refused to move away from Vanya.

Sissy watched, beaming brightly with affection. She stood up, brushing down her skirt and said, ‘I’ve got dinner, don’t you worry about it!’

‘No, it’s fine. We can just order pizza tonight.’ Vanya said, running her fingers through Harlan’s hair. Sissy raised her eyebrows slightly. Carl had always just expected that Sissy do the cooking. If she ever even suggested ordering takeaway, he would give her a look as though he were disappointed that she wasn’t keeping up with her “wifely duties”.

But Vanya didn’t seem concerned at the idea of takeaway food, so Sissy just nodded, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. ‘Alright, where is your telephone?’

To Sissy’s great surprise, Vanya pulled something out of her pocket. It was an odd rectangular object, about the size of Vanya’s hand. The object itself was a silver-grey, but the face was black and reflective. When Vanya tilted it upwards, the surface lit up.There were numbers on the screen, the date too (Sissy assumed. It read Monday 29 June, so that seemed the most logical conclusion). Vanya tapped the object a few times before holding out her hand for Sissy to take. When she did, Vanya tugged her closer so she could better see the object. Harlan was staring at it with wide-eyed curiosity.

‘What is that?’ Sissy asked.

‘Domino’s app.’ Vanya said. She paused for a second, looking up at Sissy. ‘You meant this, didn’t you?’ She held the object aloft, blushing slightly. ‘Mobile phone. Smartphone. Whatever you want to call it. It’s a 21st century thing, I guess.’

Sissy observed as Harlan poked the “mobile phone” with his index finger and tilted his head inquisitively. ‘ _That’s_ a telephone?’ She asked, disbelievingly.

Vanya, like Harlan, tilted her head and Sissy was struck by how alike the two were. ‘Among other things, yes.’ Sissy knew her face must have been the picture of confusion when Vanya just shook her head. ‘We’ll have to give you both a full rundown on technology another time.’

\---

As they waited for their pizzas to arrive (a Margherita for Vanya and Harlan to share, and Mushroom pizza for Sissy. Sissy had argued that she couldn’t eat a whole pizza by herself, to which Vanya had responded that that was the point of leftovers), Vanya draped a white sheet over the laundry room door. ‘Here,’ she said, nudging Sissy to stand in front of it.

‘What are we doing?’

‘We…’ Vanya responded. ‘Are taking passport photos for the two of you.’

Vanya couldn’t help but be grateful once again for having met Evelyn Ross. James and Annie had previously worked for a top secret not-quite-government agency (they’d retired after Gracie, their youngest, was born) and they still had connections who could get her passports, no questions asked. She knew they’d have to fudge some of the information on the passports (she didn’t even want to _think_ about the calculations required to ensure that Harlan would age as close to his actual age as possible) but she wasn’t worried about that. If they had to make adjustments so that they could live here together, they would. So passport photos (and a very fun conversation about surnames since Cooper was Carl’s and Sissy didn’t really have much of a bond with her own parents either) were a necessity.

\---

Getting the photos taken and sent off to the Rosses had taken significantly less time than Vanya had anticipated, so she and Sissy though it best to help Harlan unpack so they could all relax after dinner.

‘There’s really not a lot here.’ Vanya commented, placing the final shirt into the top drawer. Harlan ran over to the rocking chair in the corner of his room the second they had emptied the last of his things from the cases. They hadn’t managed to even halfway fill any of the drawers.

‘There wasn’t a lot left to pack.’ Sissy shrugged.

‘Sorry,’ Vanya winced. Sissy just shrugged again. Vanya stood up from the carpeted floor, rubbing her hands together anxiously. ‘I’m going into town tomorrow to pick up some groceries, but you can come with me to get some new clothes? Though maybe it’d be best to ask one of the Ross kids to come over and stay with Harlan. Too much too soon might be overwhelming for him.’

Sissy had started to nod her assent, but at Vanya’s suggestion, she looked more apprehensive. ‘Are you sure they can be trusted?’

‘Absolutely.’

Before either of them could say anything more on the topic, their food had arrived.

\---

Dinner had been a quiet affair, full of soft glances and content smiles. Vanya couldn’t help but watch Sissy, couldn’t help but stare at her lips. It had been too long since the last time they kissed. (What she didn’t notice, was that every time she looked away, Sissy would stare back, heart full of the same longing.)

After they had finished their meal and cleared away the boxes, Vanya and Sissy had shepherded Harlan upstairs to get ready for bed. He insisted that Vanya continue to read his book to him, and they made it to chapter four before he fell asleep once again.

They switched off the light in his room, gently pulling the door to as they left. Vanya turned to Sissy, about to suggest going downstairs to continue their conversation, when Sissy let out a huge yawn. Vanya breathed a laugh. ‘Maybe we should get ready for bed too. It’s been a long day.’

Sissy made to protest, but another yawn overtook her and she acquiesced, slipping her hand into Vanya’s to tug her towards their bedroom. Once they were both in their pyjamas, they sat on the bed in silence, neither wanting to go to bed without discussing the elephant in the room.

‘We never discu-‘ Sissy started.

‘Can I kiss you?’ Vanya interrupted, bursting with anxious energy, her eyes locked with Sissy’s.

‘Of course!’

Their lips met in a desperate clash, eyes fluttering closed, and everything faded to nothing. Their noses bumped gently as they fought to get closer to each other. Vanya let out a gasp, the only thing that existed in the world was Sissy. Sissy’s lips were softer than Vanya remembered. Vanya cradled Sissy’s head, running her fingers through the soft hairs at the nape of her neck, deepening the kiss. Sissy’s hands clutched at Vanya’s sides, seeking some kind of reassurance. They only pulled away when oxygen became a necessity.

‘God, I’ve missed you.’ Sissy murmured, her mouth pressing against Vanya’s jaw. Vanya moaned, pushing Sissy back to reconnect their lips in another fervent kiss.

Sissy’s hands slipped to the hem of Vanya’s long sleeve top, pulling back slightly to ask permission. Vanya met Sissy’s eyes. ‘Not tonight?’ She whispered.

Sissy nodded, pressing a couple more kisses to Vanya’s temple and pulling back the covers to climb into the bed. Vanya wrapped her arms around Sissy, who lay her head down on Vanya’s shoulder, her own arm draped over Vanya’s stomach. Vanya pressed one last kiss to the crown of Sissy’s head, and the two fell fast asleep.

\---

Vanya woke to sunlight streaming in through a gap in the curtains and a weight on her right side. Blinking her eyes open she took in her surroundings. She was in her bedroom, as usual, but this time she wasn’t alone. Her heart filled with warmth as she recalled the events of the previous day; Sissy and Harlan were _home_.

At some point in the night, Harlan must have crept into the room, for he now lay between her and Sissy. Vanya’s arm (the one not crushed underneath both Harlan _and_ Sissy) was looped around them both. She lightly trailed her fingers along Sissy’s arm, somewhat unsurprised when the other woman stirred awake. Sissy’s crystal blue eyes met hers, softening with the realisation that they were together. Vanya felt a smile tug at her lips.

Sissy sat up from the bed, brushing away the strands of hair that fell across her face.

‘A little help here?’ Vanya whispered, and Sissy grinned. She gently scooped Harlan up, trying not to wake him. Vanya carefully extracted her arm from under the sleeping boy, tucking the duvet back around him. ‘I can’t feel my arm…’ Vanya muttered, fondly rolling her eyes. ‘You don’t need to use the bathroom right away, do you?’ When Sissy shook her head, Vanya nodded, padding over to the ensuite.

When she re-emerged to collect her clothes from her wardrobe for a shower, Sissy was stood at the far window. Vanya moved over to her, folding her arms around the taller woman’s waist and pressing a kiss to her shoulder. Sissy ran her hands over Vanya’s forearms, holding them in place. ‘It’s so beautiful here. Peaceful, too.’

’That’s why I chose this place.’ Vanya murmured, pressing another kiss to Sissy’s neck. She tried to pull back, but Sissy held on. ’Sissy… I have to have a shower.’ Sissy groaned lightly, spinning in Vanya’s arms and pecking her softly on the lips before reluctantly letting go.

\---

Vanya was flipping a pancake at the stove and listening to music when Sissy came downstairs, freshly showered. She took a moment to just look at Vanya. She had no idea how she’d been so lucky as to find someone who cared so deeply for her and Harlan. She’d thought she’d have to make do with Carl, even though she had never loved the man. She never in a million years thought she’d ever have the chance to be with a woman, to live with her, to _love_ her, without fear of losing everything. She had never felt this way about anyone before, never thought she’d get this kind of love. The kind of love that gave her the courage to walk through a portal into the unknown, in the hopes of finding her love again on the other side.

But here she was. Watching the love of her life cook pancakes for breakfast, while her son slept. When Vanya plated the last pancake and turned off the stove placing the stacked plate in the oven to keep them warm for when everyone was ready to eat, Sissy stepped into the room.

As the song changed, Sissy held her hand out to Vanya, ‘May I?’

Vanya stared at her for a couple of seconds before intertwining their fingers. Sissy tugged Vanya close (because she could do that now) and the two swayed along to the music.

_You saw through me all this time,_

_I’d forgotten people are kind._

_I was hurting and you knew,_

_So you showed me what to do:_

Sissy couldn’t help but connect to the lyrics of the music. Vanya had certainly seen through Sissy’s carefully constructed walls as though they were made of glass and she’d been nothing short of incredible every step of the way.

When Sissy’s own mother had seen even a glimpse of the real Sissy, she had threatened her own daughter. Shouted loud enough for the entire household to hear, her brother and her sister too. She had been eleven. Only Daddy had understood her, when he’d found out a little over a year later. He’d sat with her on starry nights, talked about his favourite constellations (Lyra and Aquila), and told her things that he daren’t say in the light of day. Daddy would have never approved of Carl, but he had passed away when she had been seventeen and she’d been left to the mercy of her mother and her siblings. Vanya had been the first person since who had noticed her.

_Something new, something strange._

_Ten feet taller, I had changed._

_I believe you, I’m not wrong._

_Oh, it suits me to feel strong._

_You said “I will listen, tell me it all._

_You don’t like the ending, then we’ll find one that’s yours.”_

_Oh, how did you know that that’s all we need?_

_A promise of hope is enough to feel free._

Sissy leaned down slightly, resting her forehead against Vanya’s. Their noses brushed softly, their eyes locked together, hazel on blue. She remembered her father’s words: _‘Lyra,’_ he’d said. _’There is nothing wrong with who you are. You are perfect. And one day you will find someone who sees that.’_

She hoped, if there was some sort of afterlife, that her father could see how happy she is now.

_Together we sang:_

_I’m ready now._

As the song faded out, they pulled back slightly. ‘Harlan will be down soon.’ Sissy breathed, not wanting to ruin the moment, but also not quite ready to tell the nine-year-old about the extent of their relationship.

(Neither of them noticed Harlan tiptoe back up the stairs, a wide smile written across his face.)

\---

Vanya poured maple syrup over her pancake, offering it to Harlan who made no move to protest, so she poured some on his too. The breakfast room was warm with the sun filtering through the back windows. The domesticity of the scene before her warmed her heart, and she couldn’t wait to introduce Harlan and Sissy to the world. Her mind was caught up on the conversation she and Sissy had been having when Harlan came down for breakfast about going into town. Sissy had promised to agree after she met Harlan’s would-be babysitter.

The squeaking of brakes pulled Vanya from her reverie just as the three had finished eating, and she stood up to look out the window behind Sissy. She smiled as Lucy, the middle Ross child, wheeled her bike into the barn. Vanya cleared the table with Sissy’s help, piling the plates in the sink. She walked through to the vestibule, put the door on the latch and walked back into the kitchen. Sissy had started rinsing the dishes and Vanya joined her at the sink. She heard the thud of the door and the sound of shoes being placed on the shoe rack and then Lucy was standing in the doorway.

She slid her ragged backpack off her shoulder (though it was more mismatched patches than original material) and pulled a pastel green lever-arch file out of the bag. Sissy had turned off the faucet and was observing Lucy with blatant curiosity. Lucy opened the file and propped it up on her raised knee, lifting the lever to slip out a plastic pocket slotted in front of the file dividers. Vanya tried not to laugh, knowing it was the girl’s mother’s influence that led to this filing system.

‘Birth certificates, passports, Marriage certificate and divorce papers all accounted for.’ Lucy spoke without preamble, slipping past Vanya and Sissy into the breakfast room. Without checking to see if they followed her (they did), she poured the contents of the pocket onto the table and spread them out into a fan. She met Sissy’s bemused gaze. ‘We may have inferred that your ex-husband was a criminal and that you’ve relocated here for safety. It was certainly easier to explain away than the truth…’ Vanya had to turn away to conceal her amused smile.

Composing herself, she turned back to the fourteen-year-old. ‘Easier than getting _your_ papers sorted?’ She teased, clocking Sissy’s lost daze in her peripheral vision.

Lucy stuck her tongue out at Vanya in response, explaining to Sissy, ‘The government still doesn’t know I exist on this planet and we’d like to keep it that way.’

‘I- what?’ Sissy didn’t seem to know what to make of what had transpired in the space of five minutes and Vanya certainly didn’t blame her.

Lucy ignored Sissy’s question to smile at Harlan. ‘Hey, you wanna see your new passport?’ She asked the boy, handing it over when he nodded. ‘We had to change your birthday, I’m afraid. Only way to ensure you age correctly.’

Vanya leaned over Harlan’s shoulder to read the information. Surname: Allaway, Given Names: Harlan, Date of Birth: 16 Jan/Jan 11.

‘Aunt Vanya told us your original birthday was the seventh of September, don’t worry, we double checked the maths!’

‘Allaway?’ Sissy asked, having picked up her own passport from the pile.

Lucy hummed. ‘A Scottish surname. Dad’s idea. Means “wild field”.’

‘It’s nice.’ Sissy said, though Vanya could tell she was at a loss for words (Lucy tended to have that effect on people).

Vanya watched as Harlan tugged on Lucy’s forearm, holding out Mr Pickles for her to see. Lucy grinned, reaching into her bag to retrieve Bea, her crocheted butterfly and setting her on the table next to the wooden bluebird.

Vanya glanced at Sissy who was smiling at the two’s interaction. Sissy caught Vanya’s eye and nodded. Vanya took it as a sign of approval.

‘We have to go into town for a few hours. Will you two be alright on your own?’ Vanya asked.

Lucy looked over to Harlan. Harlan just blinked in response, not meeting Lucy’s eyes, but instead reaching out to pull Bea closer. ‘We’ve got this!’ She said, with a mischievous glint in her eye.

‘Don’t you dare corrupt him, Lucy.’ Vanya said, mock sternly. When Lucy just held her hands up in false capitulation, Vanya sighed. This was going to be an interesting day.

(She had no clue how accurate that statement would turn out to be.)

\---

Sissy felt her heart rate speed up. She was out in public with her… Well, she wasn’t quite sure what word to use to refer to Vanya. They had driven down to the town centre of Stirling (or so Vanya had said) and parked in the car park at the local shopping centre. As they walked out onto the street, Vanya had very softly asked if she could hold Sissy’s hand and really, how could Sissy deny her when she asked like that.

They had wandered in and out of charity shops, and while Sissy noticed a couple of disgusted looks from other shoppers, no one approached them or said anything explicitly rude. By midday, they had bought several bags of clothing for both Sissy and Harlan, as well as a few more toys for Harlan. After storing the bags in the car, Vanya had suggested that they go to a little café not a ten-minute walk away for lunch.

‘What about Harlan?’ Sissy asked uncertainly.

Vanya smiled that pretty half smile that Sissy loved so much. ‘Lucy can cook. She had to learn pretty young.’

Sissy wanted to question her further, but she could tell Vanya wasn’t going to say anything more on the topic. Instead, she tugged Vanya’s hand in acquiescence and let Vanya lead her to the aforementioned café. ’So how old are the Ross children?’ She queried, longing to know more about the people in Vanya’s life.

‘Ellie, she’s the eldest, is nineteen. Her name’s actually Louise, only a few people get to call her Ellie.’ Vanya smiled. ‘Lucy’s fourteen, but she was the first one they adopted. As for Gracie, she’s almost two now. She’s James and Annie’s only biological kid, but her sisters adore her. They swore she’d never go through the same things that they did, never know the pain…’ Vanya trailed off and Sissy turned to her. She knew her concern was evident in her expression. Vanya took a deep breath. ‘I want to do the same for Harlan. I want to make sure he never knows the isolation I knew as a child. I want him to know he has two parents who love him, unconditionally. Is that okay?’

Sissy blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes, stopping Vanya in the middle of the pavement to look her directly in the eyes. She squeezed Vanya’s hand and pressed her lips firmly to the shorter woman’s knuckles. ‘Of course that’s okay, Vanya.’ She said, pulling their hands into her collarbone. ‘God, how did I get to be so lucky?’

Vanya stared at their intertwined fingers, her eyes soft. ‘I think you’ll find I’m the lucky one.’

They stood there a moment longer, before Vanya dropped her gaze with a blush and dragged Sissy forward.

\---

It was only a matter of minutes in which they reached their destination, minutes spent in a comfortable silence, the two women revelling in each other’s presence.

Darnley’s café was much like Vanya had described, Sissy noted: somewhat fancy with exposed brick.

’So… Is this a date?’ Sissy asked, smiling tentatively at Vanya.

‘I know it’s not much, but I hope this is alright for our first real date.’ Vanya spoke quietly as they sat down at an empty table. ‘I’ve only been here a couple of times, but their coffee is great.’

‘This is perfect,’ Sissy reassured, reaching across the table to run her thumb soothingly over Vanya’s arm. Vanya visibly relaxed. The two looked through the menu, though Vanya seemed certain of what she would be ordering in only a couple of minutes.

Sissy placed the menu back down on the table (the soup looked like a decent choice) and met Vanya’s eyes. Just when she opened her mouth to ask Vanya a question, a member of staff approached their table to take their orders. He smiled widely at Vanya, writing down their orders on a piece of note paper, and said, ‘You two make such a cute couple, have fun on your date!’ And then he was gone.

Sissy had frozen at his words. Vanya had told her that here they could be open about their relationship, but she hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t expected a stranger to greet them with such unfiltered acceptance. She didn’t quite know what to make of it.

’That’s Billy Craig.’ Vanya said, taking Sissy’s hand. Perhaps she could read Sissy’s consternation. ‘His mum’s a pretty big deal around here. His boyfriend’s one of my Saturday students.’

‘Oh.’ Sissy felt like she could breathe again. ‘Wait, students?’

‘Yeah. I’m a violin teacher at a local secondary school, but on Saturdays I take a few extra students.’

Sissy’s heart jumped in her chest. She’d never seen a violinist play in person, but she knew it was a beautiful sight to behold. She so desperately wanted to see Vanya play something for her. She cleared her throat, pouring a glass of water from the jug on the table and taking a sip. ’So, the callouses?’

Vanya nodded. ‘I’ve played since I was 12.’

Sissy ducked her head to hide her blush, peering at Vanya through her eyelashes. ’Maybe you could play something for me?’

Vanya’s jaw dropped. ‘I- yeah. If- If that’s something you want then absolutely!’

\---

Vanya thanked Billy as he brought over the receipt for their meal. She put her credit card down on the plate and waited for him to return with the card machine. Once they had paid, she gestured for Sissy to leave the café first.

She was thrumming with energy, their date (she’d never really been one for pomp and grandeur) had been perfectly _them_. They had talked about everything under the sun, reiterating childhoods and discussing first loves. Sissy had been rather surprised when Vanya had explained that Sissy had been the first person she’d truly loved.

Just as they walked out of the café, Vanya’s phone buzzed. Lucy had sent her a photo of Harlan crouching in the chicken coop, grinning up at the camera, with Molly and Heihei at his feet. The caption read _Harlan and the hens are now as chick as thieves. I suspect fowl play._

Vanya grinned, lightly tapping Sissy’s upper arm. ‘One of the benefits of modern technology,’ she inferred, angling the phone so that Sissy could see the screen. Sissy stared at the photo for a few seconds, her eyes bright, before asking about how Vanya had got the image (possibly an attempt to hide the tears forming in her eyes). Vanya launched into an explanation of technology (what little she knew) that lasted the duration of their walk to the supermarket. They wove in and out of pedestrians and sidestepped cyclists (typically children on tricycles) all the while keeping their fingers locked and their conversation going.

Vanya grabbed a couple of baskets, handing one to Sissy, and keeping the other for herself. ‘Would you rather we go around together or split the shopping list and meet up at the tills?’

\---

Sissy wandered up and down the aisles, searching for some dry pasta. When she reached the correct aisle (empty bar two women stood deliberating over canned beans), she put her basket (half-filled) on the floor and gazed up at the array of pastas on the shelves in front of her. As she was trying to decide between the different types and brands, snippets of the women’s conversation reached her.

’So, how’s it going with that woman you work with?’ The shorter woman asked.

’Slow-going, but I’m sure she’s going to ask me out soon.’ The taller woman replied.

Sissy almost found herself wishing she had been born in this time, to speak so confidently about a love considered deviant in her time. But then she wouldn’t have Harlan, and how could her life be better without him in it.

‘Oh yeah? How’re you so sure?’ The shorter woman nudged her friend.

‘She’s shy, but she spends her lunch breaks with me, so I know she at least likes me as a friend. And have you seen her clothes? She’s definitely at least a little bit queer.’

Sissy wondered what it would have been like, to speak so openly with her friends about her romantic interests. Or to stay up late with her sister whispering about girls she liked. Daddy had listened, even though he didn’t much like the idea of his little girl all grown up, but it wasn’t the same.

‘She’s not in your department, is she? So how often do you even talk to her outside of lunch breaks.’ The shorter one teased.

‘I swing by the music rooms when I don’t have a class to teach. I can usually catch her for a quick chat between lessons, but she’s often quite busy. Who knew so many students took violin?’

Sissy froze. _No_. There was no way they were talking about Vanya. This _had_ to be a coincidence.

‘How much do you really know about this woman?’

Sissy tried not to actively eavesdrop on their conversation, but she couldn’t help it.

’Her siblings were those superhero school-kids out in America, but she was the one who never had any powers.’

There were other “superhero school-kids”, right? Besides, Vanya _has_ powers.

‘Wait, the Umbrella Academy? Doesn’t that make her the one who wrote that book?’ Sissy noticed the taller one nod out of the corner of her eye. ‘Did she tell you this stuff about her or did you look her up after you met her?’ The shorter woman was clearly enjoying teasing her friend. ‘You did! You stalker!’ The shorter woman crowed.

Now, Sissy turned to see the reaction of the taller woman. She knew now that they were almost certainly talking about Vanya. She felt a swell of jealousy (one she had last felt when Vanya’s brother first showed up at the barn, threatening to take Vanya away from them) rise in her chest. She tried to quell it.

By now, the women had noticed her staring at them. The shorter woman called out to her, ‘My friend isn’t actually a stalker, don’t worry!’ Her friend shoved her in the side. ‘What? You accessed public records, technically not illegal.’

‘Shut up, Jess.’ The taller woman groaned. ‘I’m so sorry about her.’

Sissy cleared her throat, unsure about engaging with these two women, but she was in a new time and didn’t really know many people. She didn’t really want to start off by making enemies. So she put on a smile, and said, ‘It’s no problem.’ (She wasn’t really sure what else she could say, really.)

‘You’re not from ‘round here.’ The woman, Jess, said. The other woman elbowed her again.

‘Don’t be rude. I’m Clara, Clara McRae.’ The taller woman held out her hand and, though Sissy wasn’t keen on the idea, she shook it.

’Sissy Co- Allaway.’ In the chaos of the day she’d almost forgotten the new identity she had been given. After introducing herself, she dropped Clara’s hand like it burned.

‘Cool. So, what brings you to Stirling.’ Jess asked.

Sissy wished she’d read the information Lucy had poured out onto the breakfast table more carefully, but it had been a lot. She remembered Vanya saying that the farm was in Dunblane, though she worked in Stirling. ‘Uh, I moved out to Dunblane with my son, not long ago.’ Vague enough that it answered their question, but not too vague as to arouse suspicion.

‘Oh, you’ve got a little lad, yeah?’ Jess didn’t seem to have many qualms with interrogating a stranger in the middle of a supermarket. Sissy just nodded. ‘How old’s your boy?’

Sissy smiled stiffly, _where was Vanya?_ ’He just turned nine a few months ago.’

‘And where are you from? Your accent sounds Southern.’

‘Jess, we’re not investigating her, leave the poor woman alone.’ Clara sighed, smiling apologetically at Sissy.

‘You know Texas’ reputation regarding the LGBTQ+ community is-‘

’Not representative of every individual from Texas?’ Clara interrupted her friend. ‘Besides, you only get your information from the internet, how much are you sure is true?’

Jess acquiesced, albeit grudgingly. ‘Sorry for implying you may be homophobic. You’re not, right?’

‘JESS! I’m so sorry, you don’t have to answer that. What happened to “don’t judge a book”?’ Clara glared at Jess. Sissy was finding it harder and harder to dislike Clara. The other woman was actively defending her from her friend when they’d only just met.

‘It’s alright,’ Sissy started, but didn’t get to finish what she had been saying. Vanya had finally emerged from around the corner behind Jess and Clara. Sissy sighed in relief as Vanya’s eyes locked with hers. She felt herself relax, knowing she was no longer outnumbered by strangers.

‘There you are, I was wondering where you’d wandered off to!’ Vanya sounded worried, not that Sissy could blame her. She hadn’t wanted to let Vanya out of her sight for too long for fear it was all a dream.

It took Vanya a couple of seconds (during which she ran her eyes over Sissy’s face, most likely checking for signs of distress or pain) to realise that Sissy had company. ‘Oh,’ she said in shock. ‘Clara, hi. How have you been?’

Clara had turned bright red. ‘H-hey, Vanya! I’m good, just been talking to your friend here.’

Vanya looked confused for a second, then glanced at Sissy uncertainly. Sissy touched Vanya’s elbow, rubbing her thumb over the sleeve of Vanya’s over-sized button-up. ‘Oh, Sissy’s my girlfriend. Or partner, I guess?’ Vanya grimaced. Sissy squeezed Vanya’s arm, recognising that this was new for Vanya too. Vanya leaned into Sissy slightly.

‘Oh.’

Sissy glanced up at Clara. She’d forgotten for a second that the woman had previously been talking about liking Vanya. Clara had gone white as a sheet, but she still smiled. Sissy was overcome with the urge to apologise. Not for loving Vanya, but for the fact that this other woman had been hurt in the process.

Sissy grabbed a couple of packets of pasta from the shelf, shoving them into her basket. She then picked the basket up and held it out to Vanya. ‘Vanya, how about you take these over to the till?’ Vanya looked up at her in confusion, but thankfully understood not to press.

Once she had gone, Sissy turned back to Clara. ‘You were talking about her before, weren’t you?’ When Clara nodded miserably, Sissy continued, ‘I’m sorry, I know how… upsetting it can be to find out someone you have feelings for is with someone else. I won’t say anything to Vanya, but… you’ve been very nice to me and I don’t really know anyone else here, so… if it’s not too much to ask…’ Sissy trailed off, unsure how to phrase the next part.

‘You want to be friends?’ Clara asked incredulously.

‘Why would she want to be friends with you?’ Jess seemed annoyed. (Honestly, Sissy had all but forgotten Jess was even there.)

‘Ignore Jess. Why would _you_ want to be friends with someone who likes your girlfriend?’ Clara asked.

Sissy thought for a second, recalling Daddy’s words. ‘We can’t help who we fall in love with.’ She recited. ‘Besides, I can’t exactly be angry at you for doing the same thing I did. As long as you don’t try to poison her against me or make a move on her or something, I have no issue with you.’

Clara grinned, ‘Don’t worry, I’m an old hand at moving on. I’m somewhat of an expert now!’

Sissy smiled sadly; she knew all too well what Clara meant.

\---

Vanya was waiting just beyond the tills with their bags when Sissy finally emerged.

‘What was that about?’ Curiosity laced Vanya’s words. Sissy picked up half of the bags (the heavier half) and the two walked towards the exit.

‘Just making new friends,’ Sissy responded vaguely. When Vanya didn’t look convinced, Sissy teased, ‘Don’t worry, we were just agreeing to trade embarrassing stories about you!’

Vanya ducked her head, pushing her shoulder into Sissy’s arm. Reaching the carpark, they piled the bags into the car, Vanya jumping into the driver’s seat. Sissy still hadn’t managed to wrap her head round the whole “driving-on-the-left” thing. Vanya had promised to teach her on the private road leading up to her (their) house.

When the car pulled to a stop in the driveway, they were instantly flanked by Lucy and Harlan. Harlan pulled open Vanya’s door and Lucy opened Sissy’s with a bow.

‘Why?’ Vanya asked, looking over at Lucy.

Lucy shrugged. ‘Chivalry isn’t dead? May we help you with your bags?’

Vanya handed a couple of the lighter clothes bags to Harlan, Lucy taking as many bags as she could carry. The two ran into the house as Sissy and Vanya took the remaining bags and locked the car.

Upon walking into the kitchen, Sissy took note of the kids, knelt on the floor, sorting the shopping into piles. The clothes bags had been pushed to the side, but the food had all been laid out on the floor. Every time either Harlan or Lucy identified an item that belonged in the fridge, they’d stand up to put it away. The pulses and the other canned foods had been stacked into a pile in the middle and the ground coffee had toothpaste balanced on top of it. Sissy met Vanya’s gaze as the two women stifled their laughter.

Once the shopping had all been put away in the cupboards, Harlan took the bags with the clothes upstairs.

Sissy took the chance to question the 14-year-old. ‘Were there any episodes?’

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows uncertainly. ‘I mean, we watched a couple of episodes of She-Ra, if that’s what you mean?’

Sissy felt perplexed, she had no idea what the girl was on about. Vanya took Sissy’s hand. ‘She means were there any meltdowns?’ Vanya asked.

‘Oh. We only had one meltdown between us. There’s a dead vole in the barn. Neither of us were okay for a while, but we helped each other.’ Lucy shook her head sharply, digging her nails into the back of her neck. ‘Someone should probably deal with that though. Preferably someone who doesn’t have hyperempathy…?’

Vanya nodded. ‘I’ll deal with that later, don’t worry.’

Lucy smiled, hugging Vanya. ‘You should definitely prepare for a bigger meltdown, though. Moving’s never easy. I had three or four big ones when we moved out here, and Ellie had a couple too.’

Harlan reappeared in the kitchen doorway, Mr Pickles in hand.

‘Will you be joining us for dinner, Lucy?’ Sissy asked.

‘I’m afraid not, mum and dad have been summoned,’ Sissy looked confused at Lucy’s word choice, but Vanya just rolled her eyes at the girl as though this were expected. ‘And Ellie’s been planning a call with her boyfriend and their best friend for a while now. That means I’m on Gracie duty.’ The girl said, picking up her backpack from the breakfast table and putting away her toy butterfly and her folder. She hugged Vanya, then Harlan and smiled at Sissy. ‘Bye Aunt Vanya, Ms. Allaway. See you soon, Bluebird!’

They heard the front door shut, the sound of a bike and then she was gone.

Sissy turned back to Harlan. ‘Did you have a good day with Lucy?’

Harlan gave his usual response, rocking forward on the balls of his feet and clapping. Vanya grinned. ‘That good, huh?’

Harlan walked out of the kitchen to put a record on in the living room and Sissy collapsed into Vanya’s arms. ‘Do you think Lucy would be up for spending time with Harlan again? It’s nice for him to have friends closer in age.’

‘Of course she would. I mean, she already considers him family, so…’ Vanya trailed off. Sissy just shot her a bewildered look. ‘She called him Bluebird. All of the kids have their nicknames. Ellie is Firefly, Lucy Butterfly, Gracie is their Little Monkey and now Harlan has one too. They all have toys of their namesakes as well, so he really is one of them.’

Sissy pressed her hand to her mouth, willing the tears to stay back. She had known the future could be good for them, but she hadn’t realised how good it would be.

\---

The first week at Bluebird Mains had passed fairly slowly. Vanya had taken it upon herself to get both Sissy and Harlan up to date with the modern world. In their downtime, they were able to watch She-Ra, the show Harlan had started with Lucy, and the three had somewhat settled into their domesticity.

It was Friday, four days after the newly named Allaways arrived in Scotland. The weather wasn’t too warm, but Vanya had lit the barbecue for lunch. Sissy and Harlan were sat at the outdoor table, watching Vanya cook when they heard the clicking of a bike approaching the house. The three looked up to see Lucy slam the brakes and tumble off the side of her bike. She scrambled to her feet, trying to get her breath back.

‘Lucy, what-?’ Vanya started.

‘We found her.’

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits to my sister for the last line of this chapter's stanza!
> 
> \---
> 
> I had to give Sissy and Harlan a different surname, because Harlan Hargreeves is always gonna sound a little odd to me, and even if they hyphenate the names, he’s just gonna end up sounding like a character from the Posh People segment of The Catherine Tate show…
> 
> \---
> 
> All that stuff about figuring out when Harlan should be born? Yeah, rainbowgecko and I were up at almost 1:00am trying to work it out! We made several basic mistakes (largely due to exhaustion) including me putting the completely wrong date for the Hargreeves' departure from 1963 into my equations. Don't maths in the early hours of the morning, folks.
> 
> \---
> 
> Uh, so I'm demi and have not yet been in a relationship, so haven't had my first kiss yet, but I hope I did Vanya and Sissy's kiss scene justice...?
> 
> \---
> 
> The song that Vanya and Sissy dance to is Ready Now by Dodie.
> 
> \---
> 
> Lucy's crocheted butterfly, Bea, actually exists. She was made for me by the incredible Kaiko for my eighteenth, and I take her and this little Watchover Voodoo doll I have, Wayland, with me everywhere I go! They help me to calm down when I'm stressed!
> 
> \---
> 
> Random life update: I found a bunch of poems I wrote when I was 14 and have come to the conclusion that I was a pretentious little shit, and I have no idea how I had any friends...
> 
> \---
> 
> \- Caedyro


	4. Your Voice is My Favourite Melody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some questions are finally answered and Sissy and Harlan get a little insight into Vanya's typical weekend!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to rainbowgecko for beta-reading this monstrosity! Thank you so much!!! Xx
> 
> \---
> 
> I'm so sorry for the delayed chapter, I moved into my second year uni accommodation almost 3 weeks ago, and have had resits over the past couple of weeks, so I've had a lot on my plate! But, this is a long chapter (or at least longer than I anticipated...). I always sit down to write thinking I'm gonna try my hardest to produce 2K words, and then come out with, in this case, 7K...
> 
> Also, uni starts up again on Monday, so I may be a fair while with the next chapter, but I'll get on writing it as soon as I can!
> 
> \---
> 
> So I’ve decided that Grace obviously survived Vanya blowing up the academy, because she was literally built to withstand Vanya.
> 
> \---
> 
> Me, emailing my mum: I’m thinking of stopping using Brain in Hand (an app to help autistic folk) because it makes me anxious.  
> My mum: Lol, everything makes you anxious 😊  
> Me: MoThEr No…
> 
> \---
> 
> Also, I got a text from Kaiko last night while she was watching YouTube, and she was shown an advert from a religious sleep assistance group kind of thing.
> 
> Kaiko: I feel so called out by this ad  
> The ad: If you’re watching this, it’s probably the middle of the night.
> 
> The ad: I don’t know what’s keeping you awake, but know we have a creator god who loves you.  
> Me: Creator god???  
> Kaiko: Yes. It got real religious real fast.
> 
> Kaiko: I’m getting preached to  
> Kaiko: at 2:30  
> Kaiko: By an advert
> 
> Kaiko: It’s such an “it’s okay, whatever is keeping you up we’ll fix it. It’s okay to not be okay.”  
> Kaiko: And I’m just here like ‘I just want to watch John Mulaney’
> 
> \---  
> Anyways, here's the chapter! I hope you guys like it!!!

\---

_Your voice is my favourite melody,_

_A euphony from the stars._

_The echo of your dulcet tones,_

_Soothes the deepest of my fears._

\---

The grandfather clock in the dining room struck nine, breaking the silence which had permeated the house since Lucy’s visit the previous night. _‘We found her.’_ Lucy’s words echoed in Vanya’s head. She sighed deeply, avoiding Sissy’s gaze. She knew her girlfriend wasn’t happy with her, but she _really_ didn’t want to deal with this today.

Harlan glanced between the two women uncertainly as he finished his cereal, dropping his spoon with a gentle clang. Vanya stood, tucking her chair under the table and moving round to stand behind Harlan. She squeezed his shoulders in reassurance, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head as he leaned back into her. She reached over to pick up Harlan’s bowl, walking through to the kitchen to put it in the sink.

Sissy came up behind her, wrapping her arms around Vanya’s waist, and kissing her softly on the temple. Vanya leaned back into Sissy’s chest, staring at the assorted sun catchers in the window.

‘We have to talk about this, Vanya. It doesn’t have to be today, but you should discuss it with _someone_ , if not me.’ Sissy said softly, stroking Vanya’s lower ribs with her thumb.

’That seems reasonable.’ Vanya replied, taking a few deep breaths to soothe the anxiety growing in her chest.

Sissy breath was warm on Vanya’s ear. ‘When’s your first student for today supposed to arrive?’

Vanya slipped her phone out of her pocket. ’Seventeen minutes,’ she replied, closing her eyes as Sissy pressed a soft kiss to the outer shell of her ear.

Sissy pulled away. ‘You sure you don’t mind us milling around the house while you’re teaching?’

Vanya turned around, leaning against the kitchen counter. She took Sissy’s hand and entwined their fingers, tugging Sissy closer to her. ‘Of course I don’t mind.’ Sissy smiled, her eyes flitting to the breakfast room to check that Harlan wasn’t paying attention. Having ascertained that he wasn’t, she stole a quick kiss, one that didn’t last anywhere near long enough in Vanya’s opinion, but when Sissy pulled away, she let her go.

\---

Vanya had six students on Saturdays, Sissy learned, all varying in age. The youngest, Adila, was seven, and the eldest, Flann, was in their seventies. Sissy and Harlan had the opportunity to meet them all. They were a curious lot, as Eoin, Barista Billy’s boyfriend, pointed out. Vanya was apparently a highly desired violin teacher, largely for the fact that she took the students other teachers refused to teach (or even charged more to teach). Adila, like Harlan, didn’t speak. Alix just didn’t speak much English and neither did Maria. (Side note: Vanya spoke fluent French _and_ Spanish. Sissy had struggled to contain her reaction to _that_.) Eoin had explained how Vanya had taken one look at his wheelchair, bluntly asked if he needed her to buy a ramp (and apologised profusely for her bluntness afterwards) and that was that. Islwyn, a young boy of only ten years, had been turned away by other teachers due to his blindness which made him a “difficult” student, and Flann had arthritis and Alzheimer’s, frequently forgetting the pieces they had been taught.

Vanya had explained to Sissy during a break between her classes how _livid_ she had been to find out that these people were either being rejected or taken advantage of due to something they couldn’t help. She told Sissy how it reminded her, in a way, of her own childhood. Being excluded from things not being trained with her siblings because of a situation she couldn’t change. Or so she had thought.

They were a family of sorts, Eoin joked. Their family reunions were the concerts Vanya held quarterly for their loved ones to watch. Islwyn had called their little group of violinists ‘The Extraordinaries’ when he had found out about Vanya’s book.

None of Vanya’s students had minded Sissy and Harlan being present for their lessons, in fact Adila had insisted on Harlan watching her play, proud to show what Miss Vanya had taught her. (Harlan had gestured eagerly towards Vanya afterwards, clapping excitedly when she promised to get him his own violin, an elated smile on her own face.) Eoin had joined Sissy for a cup of tea in the kitchen after his lesson as he waited for Billy to pick him up. ‘She never said anything,’ he had said, taking a sip of his peppermint tea (the only tea Vanya would drink, Sissy had noted). ‘But we could all tell. When Billy told me she had been in the café with a _girl_ , I wasn’t surprised. I am, however, curious as to how we’ve never heard of you given that you _live_ with her.’

Sissy, fortunately, had by this point memorised the information in the file Lucy had given her, and was able to formulate a somewhat decent response. To her great relief, Eoin had seemed to take her at her word. When Billy’s car had finally pulled into the drive, Eoin had hugged her and made her promise they’d meet up for a double date sometime. Even after a week, Sissy was surprised at the openness of Vanya’s world.

\---

After Vanya’s final lesson of the day was over (and Vanya had driven Flann back to their own home), Sissy begged her girlfriend ( _girlfriend!_ ) to play something for her. Vanya grinned, placing the violin under her chin and delicately drawing the bow across the strings. Sissy watched as Vanya allowed herself to get lost in the music, the flowing notes drowning out her worries and fears of the last twenty-four hours. Sissy swore she had never seen someone look more beautiful in her entire life than Vanya in her element (except maybe seeing Vanya spending time with Harlan). Vanya was _meant_ to have a violin in her hand, that much Sissy knew.

\---

Vanya had cooked pie for dinner, careful to keep the baked beans from touching the pie itself on all of the plates (though really, Sissy didn’t mind the two mixing). Harlan had poked the lid of the pie a couple of times with his fork, and Sissy knew her son wasn’t sure about the meal put in front of him. He stabbed his fork into the corner, taking a bite. Out of the corner of her eye, Sissy saw Vanya’s shoulders drop in relief at Harlan’s grin of approval, and she herself struggled to contain her smile. Vanya had helped her to realise what family should be like, what a happy relationship should look like. She and Carl were hardly a “happy couple” and Carl hadn’t really cared for helping with Harlan. Even Sissy’s parents hadn’t loved each other, of course Sissy had known that.

Sissy had been fourteen when her Uncle Marty had stopped by in the middle of the night. Mamma had retired to bed some hours before, as had Tommy and Helen. But Sissy, unable to sleep, had crept back through to the living room and curled up in Daddy’s armchair in front of the fire. She’d been staring into the dying flames when the soft tapping came at the front door. She’d frozen, unsure whether she was supposed to answer the door, but before she could make up her mind the door was open, and she heard two sets of footsteps walk behind her. She had tucked herself as far into the cushions as she could, hardly daring to breathe.

‘Marty, what are you doing here?’ Daddy had whispered, moving into the kitchen. Sissy peered around the chair cautiously. Sure enough, the tall, willowy frame of her Uncle Marty loomed over the kitchen table. Daddy poured two glasses of whiskey and took a seat, but Uncle Marty didn’t sit down.

‘Run away with me, Joe.’ Uncle Marty uttered hoarsely, his words raw. Daddy stilled, mid-sip.

‘What?’

‘Run away with me.’ Uncle Marty repeated, desperately and Sissy’s heart dropped into her stomach. ’There’s nothing keeping you here. You don’t love your wife, you never have. Why would you stay?’

Daddy shook his head. ‘Sissy,’ he said. Sissy panicked, had he seen her?

‘What about her?’

‘I won’t leave her here with her mother.’ Daddy stared into his whiskey, exhaustion clear in his tone. And all of a sudden, he looked twenty years older than his thirty-eight years should allow.

’She can’t come with us. The two of us is one thing, but people will start to question why we have a teenage girl with us. I just… I can’t do this anymore, Joe. Not two years ago we were able to be together all the time, and now? I want you to be mine. I don’t want to share you with them.’

’Two years ago, we were soldiers fighting in a war. Now, I have to do what’s best for my daughter.’ Daddy sighed.

‘You aren’t happy here. I could make you happy, you know that I can. And Sissy will be fine, what’s the worst that could happen to her?’

‘She could end up like me.’ Daddy bit out. Sissy jumped at his tone, her heart thudding in her chest. How could being like Daddy ever be a bad thing?

‘But I love you.’ Uncle Marty pleaded, kneeling down in front of Daddy’s chair.

Daddy placed a hand tenderly on Uncle Marty’s cheek, wiping away a tear. ‘And I love _you_ , so much.’ Daddy’s hand fell to his lap, his eyes squeezing closed. ‘But I can’t.’

Uncle Marty stared at Daddy for a few seconds and then he was gone.

Daddy stayed in his seat for a couple of minutes, wiping away the errant tears which continued to flow down his chin. Then he stood, moving mechanically, as though he were merely a puppet and someone else was pulling the strings. He poured Uncle Marty’s untouched glass down the sink, swallowing the remainder of his own whiskey and rinsing both glasses. He then walked over to the fire, just in front of Sissy, her eyes widening as he took a second to realise that she was there.

‘Sissy,’ he breathed in surprise. He came back to himself, glancing around the room. ‘How much of that did you hear?’

‘You never loved Mamma, but you love Uncle Marty and…’ Sissy took a deep breath. ‘And you’re giving it all up because of me.’

Daddy squeezed himself into the armchair with her. ‘For you, not because of you.’ Sissy folded her legs over Daddy’s lap, allowing him to wrap her up in a hug. He pressed a kiss to her hairline. ’One day, Lyra. One day you will understand the decision I made.’

She had known then that Uncle Marty had been it for her Daddy, but Uncle Marty had disappeared from their lives that day. She’d only seen him at Daddy’s funeral where he hadn’t dared approach her and her family. She would have approached him, but from his glare when he’d caught her eye, he clearly blamed her for the fact that Daddy had stayed.)

But Vanya, Vanya who had come back, Vanya who had stayed. Vanya who cared and built a home for them all. Vanya who treated Sissy as an equal and loved Harlan as her own. Vanya gave Sissy this family, gave Harlan a chance to be heard. Vanya had shown Sissy that she could be the centre of someone’s universe, that she didn’t have to make a choice between her love and her son, because Vanya would always put Harlan first. Because Vanya loved her son.

And Harlan loved Vanya too, Sissy observed as Harlan locked eyes with Vanya as he cleared his plate of the pie, his hand hovering over the table as though he were playing an invisible piano. Harlan didn’t like eye contact, never meeting strangers’ eyes and only ever making eye contact with Vanya and Sissy. Vanya had explained that this was normal for autistic people, that she herself felt like it burned when she held someone’s gaze. (‘But your eyes are home to me,’ she’d been quick to reassure.) Often, Vanya had informed Sissy, sat on the sofa after Harlan had gone to sleep, often autistic people will prefer not to make eye contact, but may have a select group of people with whom it doesn’t always hurt so much. Sometimes, especially when she was angry, Vanya found she was able to make eye contact, but other than that, she had taught herself how to convince strangers that she was looking them in the eye. (Sissy had found that Vanya was far more receptive to deep conversations when she didn’t have to look the other person in the eye.)

She watched now as Vanya met Harlan’s gaze and smiled her little half-smile. This was family.

\---

‘Fudge sticks.’ Vanya said, flapping her hand anxiously at her side as she jumped up from the sofa.

‘Is everything okay?’ Sissy asked, concerned.

Vanya pressed her fingers into her lower lip roughly over her teeth, the heel of her other palm hitting against her hipbone. A light breeze picked up in the living room. ‘I forgot to tell my siblings that you were here. Quiz night’s in half an hour. It’s Allison’s night.’

‘What do you want to do?’ Sissy questioned her calmly, holding out her hand.

Vanya kept pacing relieved to see that Sissy didn’t get offended when she didn’t take her hand. She was already rather stressed and wasn’t sure she could handle physical contact as well. ‘I won’t hide you, but I know they’ll be annoyed that I didn’t tell them.’ She and her siblings had been trying to be more open and inclusive, which apparently meant sharing everything on the family group chat. Vanya had been so caught up with being reunited with her first love that she hadn’t even _thought_ about messaging her siblings.

Much to Vanya’s relief, Sissy took control of the situation. ‘Harlan, honey, why don’t you go and brush your teeth and get into your pyjamas. That way you can go straight to bed after the quiz.’

Harlan glanced at Vanya understandingly and slipped out of the room. Vanya’s chest tightened; she hadn’t wanted him to see her like this. ’The quiz runs too late, Harlan’s supposed to be in bed by nine.’ She could feel her breathing becoming uneven, but she didn’t know how to stop it.

Sissy watched her carefully. ‘Okay, one thing at a time. What time does the quiz usually finish?’

Vanya stopped pacing abruptly to think. ‘Ten, ten thirty.’

Sissy smiled slightly, ‘Okay then. Harlan will be fine for tonight, and I’m sure your siblings won’t mind if you ask them if they can do an earlier time.’

Vanya nodded sharply.

‘Now, why don’t you tell me why you’re so worried about your siblings’ reactions to us.’

Vanya walked over to Sissy, tucking her bare feet under Sissy’s thigh, and curling herself up into a tight ball in Sissy’s lap, suddenly needing the pressure. Sissy wrapped her arms around Vanya tightly, resting her chin on Vanya’s head and massaging her fingers into Vanya’s back. Vanya pressed her toes into the couch cushion, clenching and unclenching her fists against her cheeks. ‘I don’t know.’ She whispered.

‘I think that maybe you’re afraid that, by not having told them the truth, they’ll not just be angry at you, but that they’ll leave you again. But I saw them that day at the barn, the way they rallied around you. They love you, Vanya. They might be annoyed right now, but they _will_ forgive you.’

‘But what if they don’t?’ Vanya asked in a small voice.

‘If they don’t, you’ve made your own family here. You have me and Harlan, the Rosses and the Extraordinaries, you will never be alone again.’ Sissy replied, and Vanya felt her breathing settle, her mind finally slowing down. As an afterthought, Sissy added, ‘And I’ll go to America myself, purchase a shotgun and threaten them all with it.’

Vanya let out an unexpected burst of laughter. ’No more guns.’ She admonished lightly. ‘One of the upsides of the UK, no guns and free healthcare.’

Sissy, seeming to recognise that Vanya was somewhat calmer, loosened her grip. ‘How come the UK doesn’t have guns?’

Vanya knew Sissy was just trying to get her to talk about something else, to distract her from her anxiety, but she didn’t mind. Stretching out a little, she started, ’It happened here, you know. In Dunblane. There was a shooting in Dunblane primary school twenty-four years ago…’

\---

Harlan was sat on Vanya’s lap, poking at the keys of Vanya’s laptop as they waited for Allison to send the Zoom link. He grinned as the screen filled with various letters on the google doc Vanya had opened for him to write on.

Vanya tapped her fingers anxiously, allowing Sissy to intertwine their fingers. When the link popped up (with both Harlan and Sissy jumping slightly at the unexpected noise), Vanya took a deep breath before clicking join. Allison’s face appeared on her screen.

‘Aunt Vanya!’ Claire’s voice rang through the living room, causing the both Harlan and Vanya to flinch at the volume.

When they had returned from 1963, Allison had fought Patrick for joint custody. She had been successful, the court allowing her weekends. After Vanya had moved to Scotland, Allison had decided to move closer to Lowell (where Patrick had moved after the divorce), buying a sizeable 3-bedroom apartment in Boston. (She’d claimed the third bedroom was Vanya’s, but given that their brothers visited her more frequently, they both knew it wasn’t.) Vanya had visited her sister a couple of times since, though tickets were expensive, and Vanya’s schedule was less flexible than Allison’s (Allison had been offered a role in a TV show which had finished filming a couple of weeks ago) so Allison often found herself spending time in Scotland when not in front of the camera.

‘Claire, not so loud.’ Allison chided gently from off screen. ‘You know Aunt Vanya doesn’t like big noises.’ The young girl threw an apologetic glance to her aunt.

‘Aunt Vanya, who are your friends? This is _Family_ Quiz Night.’ Claire demanded rather than asked, with all the tact an eight-year-old could muster. Allison’s face appeared on screen then, brows furrowed in curiosity.

‘Sissy?’ Allison asked, surprised. Vanya’s shoulders stiffened, but Sissy rubbed her thumb over Vanya’s knuckles and Harlan leaned back into Vanya, accidentally knocking his head against Vanya’s chin. Vanya let out a quiet gasp of pain, shifting so Harlan was sat more comfortably on her. When neither she nor Sissy responded immediately, Allison continued. ‘You are Sissy right? We met briefly at your farm.’

‘Yes, I remember. Vanya’s just a little worried because she forgot to tell you that we were here, in the future.’ Sissy wasn’t looking at Allison. Instead her gaze was trained on Vanya. Vanya nodded, hoping to reassure her girlfriend that she was okay.

Allison’s eyes softened. ‘Vanya, it’s okay. You’ve had a lot on your plate. It’s okay to forget things.’

Vanya relaxed for all of half a second before another little square popped up on her screen. Five had joined the call.

‘Five, you’re late.’ Allison joked.

‘It’s only one minute past three.’ Five glared half-heartedly, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

‘For you that’s late!’ Allison said, raising an eyebrow.

‘One of the _morons_ misplaced my laptop charger.’ Five groused.

Vanya hid her chuckle in Harlan’s hair as Allison laughed freely. (Some behaviours were harder to unlearn than others.)

‘Vanya.’ Five acknowledged her. ‘The people from ’63. How are they here?’

Allison stepped in before Vanya could answer. ‘Why don’t we save those questions for when everyone’s here.’ Her tone left no room for argument, though Five glanced at Vanya before nodding.

The next to connect to the chat was Luther, followed not long after by Diego, only two and ten minutes late respectively. (Diego had texted the group chat to say he’d be a few minutes late, apparently Mum needed help making Hot Chocolate for the quiz.)

‘Where’s Klaus?’ Allison asked.

‘I reminded him this morning.’ Luther shrugged, glancing back at his bedroom door.

‘I told him not to be late at lunch.’ Diego added from the living room.

‘I saw him half an hour ago, he said he wouldn’t forget…’ Five rolled his eyes.

‘Whilst we wait for Klaus, I’m going to make some Hot Chocolate,’ Vanya decided.

‘Why, are you jealous that Mum made some for us?’ Diego teased, taking a sip of his own.

‘Yes.’ Vanya responded evenly.

‘It’s no fun when you don’t rise to the teasing.’ Diego pouted.

‘I know.’ Vanya smiled mischievously, gently nudging Harlan off her lap. Squeezing Sissy’s hand, she slipped out of the room.

She put a jug of milk into the microwave and pulled three large mugs out of the cupboard. She poured some cocoa powder into the bottom of each mug, then covered the powder with vanilla syrup, mixing them until there were no more powder clumps. When the microwave beeped, she filled the mugs with milk, stirring them with a long-handled teaspoon, then placed them on a tray. She grabbed the biscuit tin from the corner counter, arranging them onto a plate, before replacing the tin. Moving slowly so as to not spill the hot drinks, she returned to the living room.

Sissy was laughing at something when she walked through the door, but immediately stood when she saw Vanya. She stepped around Vanya, emptying the wicker laundry basket and turning it over to form a makeshift table for Vanya to rest the tray on.

The two settled back on the sofa, Harlan climbing onto Vanya’s lap again, the laptop balanced precariously on his knees. The corner of Sissy’s eyes crinkled with her smile as she took the laptop from Harlan. Harlan hummed in protest, but Sissy quietly pointed out that he couldn’t drink his hot chocolate and hold onto the laptop, so Harlan took his mug, twisting sideways in Vanya’s lap and diligently blew on it, as he watched Vanya do the same.

Klaus had finally connected to the group chat. Or rather his voice had, barely.

‘Klaus, are you in the kitchen?’ Vanya asked her brother, bemused.

‘Klaus! The kitchen has the _worst_ connection in the house.’ Allison sighed.

Something that sounded vaguely like an objection came from Klaus’ square. When Klaus’ image finally appeared on Vanya’s screen, she noticed that he had gone to sit on the grand staircase in the main hall. She shook her head in amusement.

‘Alright, now that we’re all here, Vanya?’ Five started.

’They arrived on Monday. I forgot to tell you, sorry.’

Five waved a hand, dismissing Vanya’s apology as unnecessary. ‘How did they get here and why now?’ He asked. When Vanya merely shrugged, he started muttering to himself. ‘Monday, Monday. 29th of July. It’s just another day. There was nothing significant about the day that they arrived.’

Vanya frowned. ‘Actually, that’s not necessarily true,’ she interrupted her brother. ‘I didn’t put it together before, but it was one year to the day since the last… altercation here.’ She didn’t know how she hadn’t made the connection earlier. She turned to Sissy. ‘You told me to come back when it was safe. It happened after a year without threats.’

Five contemplated for a few seconds, then inclined his head. ‘Okay, so that explains the why now, but not the how.’

‘You didn’t do anything?’ Vanya asked.

‘No. The commission wouldn’t have helped either. I don’t understand how this was possible.’ Five stared into space, clearly working at some calculation or other in his head. The others glanced hesitantly between themselves, though fortunately, neither of the children seemed to pick up on the tension. Claire was munching on some goldfish crackers and Harlan had set aside his half empty mug to pull apart and eat a custard cream. Vanya had just taken a sip of her own hot chocolate when Five snapped out of his reverie. ’See, it would make more sense if the kid still had your powers. Since he doesn’t, there is no plausible way for this to have happened.’

‘Wait, how did you figure that?’ Vanya queried, baffled as to how her brother reached that conclusion.

‘Well, you gave him a part of you, right?’ Five explained. ‘If you believed in souls, then you gave him a part of your own to bring him back. The two parts of your soul would struggle to be separated, but you wanted to protect the kid, so your powers did just that.’ Five waved his hands around in an attempt to demonstrate the phenomenon. ‘Thus, it would make sense if, knowing it was safe for them to join you, your soul opened some sort of portal to bring the two parts back together.’ He rubbed his hand over his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Why am I even explaining this, it’s all moot anyway. You removed the kid’s powers.’

(No one noticed Harlan’s eyes widen as he stared at his own hands in wonder.)

\---

The quiz had been sheer chaos. Granted, Quiz Night was _always_ chaotic, especially on the rare occasion that Lila joined them. (She only showed up once every two months, but she was starting to become a part of the family.)

At one point, Diego disappeared from his square, only to reappear in Luther’s, not a minute later.

(‘Wha-? Diego, no. You can’t look at my answers, that’s cheating. Allison, Diego’s cheating. Ow. What was that for?’

‘Every single week…’)

Five hung up on his siblings no less than thirteen times (again, not unusual for Quiz Night).

Klaus was definitely cheating, the siblings could see him asking the ghosts around him, but he wasn’t doing well enough for them to care to call him out on it. (Vanya couldn’t be sure if the ghosts just didn’t know the answers either or whether they were feeding Klaus incorrect answers, but it was hilarious either way.)

Vanya, Sissy and Harlan came somewhere in the middle (Vanya was just happy to get more than half of the answers right) with Sissy answering all of the questions on astronomy. Vanya did pretty well in the General Knowledge round, mostly because the last few questions were about Allison and Vanya had watched all of her sister’s movies and interviews. (She had, in fact, kept tabs on all of her siblings, but they didn’t need to know that.)

At half past ten, they’d shared their scores and Harlan, half asleep had insisted that Vanya be the one to tuck him in. Sissy had given Vanya a panicked look and, as much as Vanya didn’t want to leave Sissy to the vultures, she knew Harlan needed to sleep.

(‘You know, I’m starting to think Harlan prefers you.’

‘It’s only been a week. Give him time to settle and realise I’m not going anywhere. He’ll refuse to leave your side after that.’)

When she’d returned, the room was tense. She slid in beside Sissy, looping her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders. ‘What did I miss?’

\---

Sissy watched as Vanya moved around their bedroom, throwing on a flannel button-up over a grey t-shirt. For the first night that week, Harlan hadn’t crawled into their bed. Vanya had been right; he’d only needed reassurance and time.

‘What do we have to do today?’ Sissy asked, standing up from the bed to pull a summer dress from the wardrobe.

‘Sunday roast at the Rosses.’ Vanya replied. Sissy pressed a kiss to her cheek as she walked through to the bathroom. She heard Vanya walk out to wake Harlan as she locked the door.

Vanya and Harlan were sat at the breakfast table playing a game Lucy had apparently taught the nine-year-old. (The game was called ‘chopsticks’, and Harlan loved it.)

Sissy watched as Harlan tapped Vanya’s remaining three-fingered hand with his two, and Vanya groaned. ‘Beaten, again!’ Sissy watched as Harlan just grinned in response.

She took the coffee mug left on the counter and sat down. ‘Harlan, are you excited to see the Rosses?’ Harlan rocked back and forth on his chair giddily. Vanya and Sissy shared a smile. ‘What time do we have to leave?’

Vanya checked her phone. ‘Eleven thirty, so we have twenty-two minutes.’

Sissy nodded. ‘Harlan, have you got everything that you want to take?’ Harlan nodded, not looking up at her. ‘Did you remember the drawing you made for Lucy?’ Harlan’s eyes widened and he ran up to his room. Sissy put her hand on Vanya’s shoulder. ‘Vanya, you know they’re going to ask about the envelope, right?’

Vanya sighed. ‘I know, I’m just not ready to talk about it yet.’

Sissy smiled sympathetically, watching Vanya’s demeanour shift as Harlan bounced down the stairs.

\---

The drive to the Rosses farm was only twenty minutes long. Harlan had not yet left the grounds of Bluebird Mains and so had spent the entire journey staring out of the windows at the scenery. When the car had pulled up between two buildings, the little family climbed out. The front door was flung open and suddenly Lucy was stood in front of them, her red hair wildly falling over her shoulders.

‘Hey, Bluebird!’ She grinned brightly. Harlan took half a step towards her uncertainly, but she seemed to catch on, pulling him into a hug. She turned to greet Vanya but was cut off by a voice from the doorway.

‘Lucy, come back here, I haven’t finished tying your hair.’ The young woman in the doorway had curly brown hair pulled back into a bun. Lucy stuck her tongue out at her.

‘Honestly, Ellie. Don’t you want to meet Aunt Vanya’s family.’

‘Mum wanted me to make you look somewhat presentable before they arrived, so come here.’ Lucy rolled her eyes, squeezing Harlan’s hand lightly and pulling him towards the house.

Sissy was at a loss as to what had just happened, but Vanya took Sissy’s hand and led her towards the house.

Harlan and Lucy were sat on barstools at the kitchen peninsula, Lucy’s sister stood behind them plaiting strands into a crown around Lucy’s head. Just beyond the peninsula there was a man leaning against the kitchen table, a blonde toddler resting on his hip. His blue eyes crinkled as he smiled, watching Lucy bicker with her sister. When Vanya and Sissy entered the room, he stood up, adjusting the toddler.

‘Vanya, hey.’ He shifted his gaze to the wall behind them. ‘And Sissy, right? Vanya’s told us so much about you both.’

Sissy smiled vaguely, holding out her hand to shake. ‘You must be James, it’s a pleasure to meet you.’ James glanced at Vanya, then shook her hand.

‘Yep, that’s me. And this little monkey is Gracie.’ James responded awkwardly.Gracie curled into her father’s shoulder, hiding her face. ‘She’s a little shy,’ he smiled. ‘And I know you’ve met Lucy, but knowing my girls, I doubt you’ve been introduced to Ellie.’

‘Louise. You have to earn Ellie.’ The older girl said bluntly, not looking up from tying Lucy’s hair off with a hairband.

James huffed a laugh as his wife walked into the room. ‘Ellie, play nice.’ She said, kissing Ellie’s temple and squeezing Lucy’s arm affectionately. She hugged Vanya then shook Sissy’s hand. ‘Hello, I’m Annie.’

Annie moved round to stand beside her husband, placing her hand on his shoulder. He put his hand on hers and seemed to lose the tension in his shoulders. Sissy was rather taken aback at the family dynamic presented by the Rosses. The gender imbalance prevalent in the couples she had seen throughout most of her life didn’t seem to be present here. Mutual respect mixed with familial ease was potent, and the girls were close with both of their parents.

‘Hey Harlan, wanna learn archery?’ Lucy suddenly asked, snapping Sissy out of her reverie. Harlan nodded and the two kids were out the garden door before she could stop them.

‘Foam-tipped arrows only, Lucy!’ Annie called after her, ‘Lucy’s a brilliant archer, but Lottie, my niece, has shot Lucy more times than we’d care to count.’ Sissy shot an alarmed glance at Vanya. ‘Actually, Ellie, they could use some adult supervision.’

Ellie smirked. ‘This should be interesting!’ She stated. ‘C’mon Gracie, let’s go watch our sister get herself shot.’

James passed the toddler to his eldest and turned to his wife. They shared a look, then Annie stepped forward. ‘Right then, Sissy. Why don’t you come through to the living room? I’m sure James would love Vanya’s help with the cooking.’

\---

Sissy sat down on the sofa next to Annie, shifting uncomfortably under the shorter woman’s observing gaze. To break the silence, Sissy asked, ’So how did you and James meet?’

’School.’ Annie replied. ‘We were sixteen. We became best friends, though we didn’t start dating until roughly a decade later. We’ve been together almost five years now. Vanya tells us you hit her with your car.’

Sissy laughed nervously. ‘Uh, yeah. It was an accident.’

‘Do you care about her or the idea of her?’ Annie asked plainly.

Sissy frowned. ‘What?’

‘Do you care about who she is, or do you care about the fact that she was there at a point in your life where you were looking for someone to give you a hand and had feelings for you.’

Sissy was angry. A woman she barely knew was directly insulting her. ‘I care about her because she has the biggest heart. She came into my life and loved my son, never saw him as broken when everyone else did. She may not have had any memories, but that told me enough about her personality for me to fa- to care for her.’

‘Good,’ Annie said. ‘Now that we’ve established that, what do you like doing in your spare time.’

Sissy stared at the other woman in consternation. ‘You just went from attacking me to asking me about my hobbies in the blink of an eye.’

Annie looked taken aback. ‘Oh. I didn’t mean to come across as harshly as I did. Vanya deserves someone who actually loves her - or could love her - and we just wanted to be sure that was you.’

Sissy sat back. ‘Oh.’ She echoed. ‘I love stargazing.’

\---

Sissy and Annie had talked for a while about astronomy, Annie’s father had apparently taught her about stars and constellations too. They were only interrupted by Evelyn’s arrival. Sissy had been eager to meet the women who had brought Vanya into her family and was not disappointed. Evelyn was a tall woman in her fifties with a calm air about her. She was friendly and welcoming to both Sissy and Harlan and Harlan loved her, which Sissy was grateful for. Her own mother and both of Carl’s parents had been dismissive of Harlan, all blaming Sissy for his not talking, but Evelyn Ross swept in and treated Harlan as though he were another of her grandchildren. (Literally. She’d pulled out some sweets which were “only for her grandchildren” and handed some to Harlan without even blinking an eye.)

When it was time to eat, the group sat in the dining room, adults at one end and children at the other. Gracie, being too young to properly sit at the table, was on Lucy’s lap, the older girl alternating between eating and feeding her sister. Sissy couldn’t help but notice how at home Vanya seemed here, and how Harlan seemed far more comfortable here than at the family dinners they’d been forced to attend with Carl’s family.

After every last roast potato and Yorkshire pudding had been cleared from the table, the adults retreated to the living room, and the children ran upstairs (though Ellie excused herself to call her friends). It was the first time since Harlan had been born that Sissy got the opportunity to sit down and talk with friends (for surely that’s what the Rosses were to her now). Unwilling to leave Harlan behind to see her friends, and her friends not wanting a child around when they met up left Sissy very few options and she had slowly, but surely, lost all of her friends. When Vanya had started staying with Harlan (the only person Sissy trusted to look after her son), Sissy had tried putting herself out there a little more. She’d contacted some childhood friends in the hopes that they could meet up, but they’d all married and moved on with their lives. But now, here, everything was different. Sissy knew how important it was to have a greater support system than just your significant other, and she was glad she had that now.

As they left, James handed her two phones, one was programmed with all the Rosses numbers (‘Mum knows a lot about being allistic and raising an autistic son, and we’ll happily watch Harlan anytime you want, just send us a text.’) and also had Vanya’s siblings numbers (‘Just in case something happens.’) and the other had fewer functions. ‘We know Harlan’s young, but this could help him communicate, and help you know where he is if he gets lost. Vanya will help you set it up.’

Sissy had to bite her lip to stop herself from crying. Hugging the Rosses goodbye, Sissy, Vanya and Harlan got back into the truck.

‘Don’t forget to think about what I said!’ Annie called from the drive as Vanya pulled onto the road.

‘What’s that about?’ Vanya asked, curiously.

Sissy smiled. ‘Annie thinks I should enrol in university since I never got the chance to. Mamma said we couldn’t afford it, but Tommy and Helen both got to go.’

Vanya clicked her tongue in sympathy. ‘What does Annie think you should study?’

‘One of the sciences. She thinks I should get my BSc from Stirling University.’ Sissy glanced down at her lap. ‘It’s a silly idea.’

’No, it’s not! You should do it. You could get out a student loan and when school starts up again, my hours will be pretty much the same as Harlan’s. We could definitely do this.’ Vanya said, excitedly.

‘Really?’ Sissy asked, hardly daring to get her hopes up. Carl would have never supported her in this. But Vanya just reached over the console to squeeze Sissy’s hand. ‘Okay, then. I’m enrolling in university.’

\---

It had been just over two weeks since Sissy and Harlan had arrived in Scotland. The last week had been hectic, with doctor’s appointment after doctor’s appointment. Harlan and Sissy were given the most important vaccines, though given the number of injections they were missing, the doctor had had to set up more appointments staggered over the next few weeks. (Harlan had decidedly _not_ liked the needles and getting him through even one injection had been hard enough.) Harlan had also been given a referral for an autism diagnosis in a couple of months time, and both mother and son were found to be healthy.

Sissy had been hiding something, Vanya had noticed. She’d been reticent over the last few days, and Vanya couldn’t figure out why. Though, she supposed, that was fair, given that she was yet to talk about the envelope Lucy had given her.

Vanya was drawn from her thoughts by a knock at the door. ‘Who could be knocking at the door at nine a.m. on a Tuesday?’ She muttered aloud. She was about to climb out of bed (she’d awoken with a headache) when she heard Sissy talking to whomever it was.

After a couple of minutes, she heard someone shuffle up the stairs and the bedroom door opened. She sat up.

‘Allison?’ She asked, shocked to see her sister stood in her doorway.

‘Hey, Vanya.’ Allison said softly. ’Sissy called last week. She told me about the envelope. They found her?’

Vanya nodded miserably, flopping back in her bed. Allison lay down next to her, Vanya curling into her sister’s side.

‘How did you do it?’ Vanya asked in a small voice.

‘I wasn’t alone. And neither are you.’

\---

The sisters talked for an hour, and Vanya’s headache slowly faded as she listened to her sister’s advice. She finally felt able to talk to Sissy about it with Allison’s permission.

Sissy was stood at the living room window, watching Harlan playing on the swings outside when Vanya and Allison walked in, arm in arm.

Vanya sat between her sister and her girlfriend (both holding one of her hands each), took a deep breath, and began.

‘Not long after we arrived back from 1963, a woman in her sixties showed up at the academy looking for Allison. We were all there, Claire too. We were working on being a family.

‘But this woman, she said Allison was hers. Her daughter. We all knew we had biological parents, but that was just a fact that we knew. It wasn’t real. Not until that day.

‘She told us her story. Three months before she had Allison, she gave birth to twins, and she had two older children as well. She and her husband had enough to worry about with four children to raise, but a fifth, completely unplanned child so soon after the twins? It was a lot.

‘So when a crazy billionaire showed up offering to buy the baby, they took the chance to give their children a better life. She told us about how she’d thought that Allison would have a good life, living in comfort with a billionaire for a father. It wasn’t until she saw Dad on the news talking about “The Umbrella Academy” that she realised what she had done.

‘She saw how he had sent in six _children_ to fight armed bank robbers. My siblings were twelve at the time. She told us that she had been furious, had tried on several occasions to call him, and after him evading her for months, she confronted him at the mansion.

‘He was cold, which if you knew him, you would know wasn’t unusual for our Dad. He told her that she had signed away any rights she had to Allison when he had taken her. He pretty much threatened her to stay away. So she watched from afar, told us she saw every single one of Allison’s films, but she didn’t dare go near her out of fear of our Dad.

‘She was in the hospital when Dad died. She only found out he was dead when she was discharged a month later. That’s when she came to the Academy again, hoping to finally speak to Allison.’ Vanya took a deep breath, not sure how to continue. ‘The thing is, she told us she hadn’t been pregnant the morning of the day she had Allison.’

Sissy blinked uncertainly.

‘We figured maybe that was the case for all of our mothers. Five tried the commission, but their records on us were destroyed a long time ago. So I asked the Rosses if they could use their connections, if they could find our mothers too. But I never thought they would find anything, none of us did. And we weren’t really sure we wanted them to.’ Vanya, clocking Sissy’s confusion, explained, ‘Allison’s mum had kept an eye on her for all those years. The second she was able to, she found her. And the two have kept in touch ever since and Allison’s met her biological siblings. Hell, our mum texts Allison’s bio mum about what Allison was like as a child and they keep in contact.’

Vanya paused, fiddling with the sleeve of her shirt. ‘But none of the rest of our mums ever showed up.’ She sighed deeply, dropping Allison’s and Sissy’s hands to walk over to the bookshelf. She took the envelope down from the shelf. ‘This envelope is Schrödinger’s cat and I can’t help but think that the cat is dead. If my bio mum wanted to know me, she would have found me after Dad died. She doesn’t want to know me, not that I can blame her.’

’Why don’t we open it and find out?’ Sissy asked softly, covering Vanya’s hand with her own. Vanya sat down back down between the two other women. She glanced between them both, tried to take reassurance from their encouraging nods and opened the letter.

\---

Vanya read through the information three times before she sat back stunned.

‘Well?’ Allison questioned impatiently.

‘Her name is Tatiana Smirnova, she’s Russian.’ Vanya turned to her sister. ‘Allison, it says she’s forty-seven.’

‘What?’ Allison asked, horrified.

Sissy pulled Vanya into a hug.

’She was only seventeen. She was just a child herself. Of course she didn’t want an unplanned child.’ Vanya hadn’t realised she’d started sobbing.

Allison patted Vanya’s knee. ‘Where’s she living now?’ She asked carefully.

Vanya met her sister’s gaze through blurry eyes. ‘London.’

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sometimes forget that rainbowgecko is chaotic but then she tells me that I should call Billy ‘Barista Billy’ instead of talking me out of it and I’m reminded of just how chaotic she is.
> 
> \---
> 
> Apparently the word “teenager” first came into use in 1944 in America! I don’t know how likely it is that Marty would use the word only three years later, but you know what, at least the word existed at the time!
> 
> \---
> 
> Tips for autistic people on avoiding direct eye contact: stare at their eyebrows or their forehead. You can also stare at their nose or if, like me, you have auditory processing disorder and, unlike me, are good at lip-reading, their lips. (I mean, I still stare at people’s lips in the hopes that I’ll understand everything that they’re saying, but I’m shite at lip-reading, so…)
> 
> \---
> 
> I finally had Vanya have a mild meltdown/panic attack. This is what I personally experience as a sort of pre full blown meltdown kind of thing. Wouldn't recommend as it can really hurt both your hand and your hip, but in that state of feeling very overwhelmed, it can be hard to stop yourself. Vanya has almost certainly no experience with calming herself down from a panic attack/meltdown because mood-suppressing drugs, amirite?
> 
> \---
> 
> So I’m a uni student, but I still like to climb onto my mum’s lap like I’m a cat. However, I’m all bones, so my poor mother constantly gets knocked in some way or another when I curl up on her, and I’m constantly getting reprimanded for accidentally hurting her!
> 
> \---
> 
> \- Caedyro


	5. I Can Do Anything with Your Hand in Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya meets her biological mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this chapter has taken as long as it has, I've gone back to uni now, so have had a lot on my plate. I just had my reading week, so was able to write you lot a new chapter! Unfortunately, there is not as much Vissy in this chapter, as it is largely Vanya-centric, but I hope it's still good!
> 
> \---
> 
> As per usual, I wanna take a moment to say a massive thank you to rainbowgecko for beta reading this; you are very much appreciated! Xx
> 
> \---
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains Bing Translated Russian, which may be completely incorrect. If you are fluent in Russian, please feel free to point out or ask me to correct any mistakes!
> 
> \---
> 
> And finally, before you read this fic, another funny Kaiko anecdote (because as much as she claims I'm a walking disaster, we both know it's a shared trait!):
> 
> Kaiko (texting me): My laptop just told me it restarted because of a problem…  
> Kaiko: I’m hella confused because I told it to restart…?  
> Kaiko: Does it think I’m a problem?
> 
> \---
> 
> Aight, I'll let you get on with the new chapter! Enjoy!

\---

_I can do anything with your hand in mine;_

_Our fingers tangled, our hearts intertwined._

_The boundary between us fades to dust_

_And I know I am not alone._

\---

Vanya took a deep breath, bouncing her leg anxiously. _You are not alone_ , she reminded herself.

Harlan reached over and placed his hand on hers where they were folded on her lap. She glanced up at him, their eyes locking. Just as he had when Sissy and Carl had fought that morning in Texas, he seemed to be trying to share his strength with her, showing her that he supported her, understood her. She smiled warmly at him, turning her hand over and letting him squeeze her fingers. When she shifted her gaze forward, her eyes met Allison’s in the rear-view mirror. Her sister was splitting her focus between the road and the mirror, watching Vanya interact with Harlan with warm fondness.

‘Satnav gives it ten minutes.’ Allison broke the silence of the car.

Sissy twisted in her seat. ‘How are you feeling?’ She asked softly.

‘Anxious, I guess? I don’t really know.’ Vanya responded, her eyebrows furrowing.

‘Understandably,’ Allison said, adjusting her grip on the steering wheel as she turned down another side road.

When they finally pulled onto The Grove, Allison seeking a free space to park, a light breeze stirred up in the car. Vanya caught the concerned glance shared between Sissy and Allison, but she didn’t know what to say. Allison pulled the keys out of the car, but nobody made to get out. Harlan pulled off his seatbelt and clambered over to Vanya’s side.

‘You don’t have to do this today, Vanya.’ Allison turned to her sister.

‘I do.’ Vanya replied. ‘We drove seven hours to get here, we can’t turn back now.’

The group had left Bluebird Mains after dinner the previous day, stopping over at a hotel for the night and they’d woken up at seven am this morning to drive the final three hours to London. Vanya had been happy to take the four-hour drive yesterday (Sissy still not confident enough with driving on the left for such a long time on busy roads) but she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle the journey this morning. Thankfully Allison had been happy to take the wheel herself for the final stretch.

She quickly pressed an affectionate kiss to the top of Harlan’s head. _You are not alone_ , she thought once more. And with that, she pushed open the car door.

\---

The house was sat in the middle of a row of terraced houses, its door painted a dark red. The small metal numbers nailed to the door, 70, sat above the knocker. Vanya stared at it. This was it. She took a step back.

Harlan pressed closer into her side, Sissy stepping up to take her hand as Vanya glanced in Allison’s direction. ‘Will you do it?’ She begged her sister quietly. She wasn’t watching Allison’s face, so she missed the soft understanding that passed through her sister’s eyes as she walked up to the door and knocked three times.

The wind picked up again in the silence that followed. Vanya felt her heart in her throat. She could hear Sissy soft attempts to soothe her, but she couldn’t register the words her girlfriend was saying. She counted the seconds it took from Allison’s final knock to the door in front of them unlocking. Thirty-seven seconds.

The door swung open.

‘What do you want?’ A tall man was stood in the doorway. His frame was big (though it had nothing on Luther’s, Vanya noted) and a frown marred his features. He spoke with a thick Russian accent, his voice low with a growl.

Allison took the lead, standing tall. ‘We’re looking for Tatiana Smirnova. Is she here?’

‘No.’ He said moving to shut the door.

‘Tatiana Smirnova?’ A voice came from behind him. A young girl pushed past the man. ‘Isn’t that Mama’s maiden name?’

The man’s face turned bright red and Vanya watched as the girl (her sister?) shrunk back slightly. ‘Наверху. _Нво_.’ _(Upstairs. Now.)_ The man spoke sharply, pushing the girl behind him. He turned to the group at his doorstep, ‘And you. Leave.’ He slammed the door shut.

The four of them stood staring at the door stunned. Harlan pressed his face into Vanya’s shoulder, and Vanya wrapped her arm tightly around him, unsure of what to say. Sissy rubbed her hand over Vanya’s back. ‘I’m sorry, Honey,’ She said softly. ‘I know this wasn’t how you wanted this to go.’

Allison had turned back and was watching her sister carefully. When Vanya didn’t reply to Sissy, she spoke up, ‘Vanya? Are you okay?’

But Vanya couldn’t move. Her brain formed a dozen things that she wanted to say, _I have a biological sister_ , _my mother is real_ , and most dauntingly, _they aren’t safe_ , but she couldn’t push the words from her throat.

‘Can I help you?’

Vanya peered over Harlan’s head, her sister stepping around her to greet the woman walking up to the house. ‘We’re looking for Tatiana Smirnova.’ Allison repeated.

‘That would be me.’ The woman smiled politely. Vanya couldn’t help but stare. This was her. The woman who had given birth to her at seventeen. The woman who had given her away not long after.

She was roughly the same height as Allison. Her dark brown hair was tied back in a bun, the roots grey, hinting at her age. She looked tired, her face pale and eyes sunken, but she maintained her polite smile.

‘Right. I’m Allison Hargreeves and-‘

‘Hargreeves?’ Tatiana questioned, the smile slipping off her face. When Allison merely nodded, Tatiana’s expression twisted into rage. (There was a hint of something else there, but Vanya wasn’t sure what.) ‘Leave and don’t come back. I do not want to hear what you have to say.’

‘Mrs Smirnova-‘

‘No.’ Tatiana took a deep breath. ‘I do not care what is said about him, philanthropy and other bullshit. Your father was a monster.’ Tatiana pushed past Allison.

‘I agree.’ Allison said. Tatiana stopped halfway past her, spinning to face her. Vanya watched as her biological mother carefully observed her sister. Tatiana seemed to debate something with herself for a minute.

‘What happened to her?’ She asked quietly, her voice breaking slightly.

Allison looked taken aback. She looked to Vanya uncertainly.

Vanya took a cautious step forward, pulling Harlan with her. Sissy shifted slightly closer, entangling their fingers. ‘Hi.’ She said awkwardly.

Tatiana slowly turned towards her. ‘Liliya? Моя Liliya. Это действительно ты?’ _(My Liliya? Is it really you?)_

Vanya hesitated for a moment. She had never really considered that Tatiana might have named her. Though, according to the information the Rosses had gathered, Tatiana had had Vanya for a month before Dad had bought her, so logically, she must have been given a name. ‘Да.’ _(Yes.)_

‘Моя Liliya, посмотрите на вас. Вы все выросли!’ _(My Liliya, look at you. You're all grown up!)_ Tatiana was crying now, her eyes rimmed with red. She took half a step towards Vanya, then seemed to think the better of it and gestured to the front door instead. ‘You must come in.’

Vanya glanced at both Sissy and Allison, unsure whether it would be a good idea to go into the house with the cold man still there. There was something about him that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She glanced at Harlan, then back at the door. She wouldn’t allow that man anywhere near her son (her _girlfriend’s_ son, she corrected herself). She turned to Sissy, muttering, ‘You should take Harlan to the park. Or the coffee shop across the road. I don’t -’ She cut herself off.

Sissy seemed to understand. ‘You’ve got this. I love you.’ She murmured back. They both froze. _Oh_. They hadn’t yet said those word to each other. A flash of panic crossed Sissy’s face. Somehow, though, they were the exact words Vanya needed to hear; she felt strangely calm.

‘I love you, too.’ She whispered.

Sissy squeezed Vanya’s hand one last time, then stepped around her to shepherd Harlan away. Harlan, however, refused to let go of Vanya’s arm, clinging tighter to her. When Sissy tried to gently tug him away, he made a noise of protest. ‘Harlan, honey, come on.’ Harlan protested again.

Vanya squeezed his shoulder. ‘Hey, Harlan, go with Mama. She’ll just take you across the street for a bit and then you can come back.’ Harlan almost met her gaze. ‘Please?’ She whispered. The nine-year-old tilted his head at her tone of voice, which she knew was laced with desperation and fear. She watched as Harlan blinked at her, his face clear of any obvious emotion, and Vanya felt the tension in her shoulders dissipate. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. ‘Thank you,’ she breathed.

This time when Sissy led him away, he followed her, glancing back at Vanya somewhat hesitantly. She smiled, if only to ease his concerns, and watched as the two walked down the street. When she finally turned back, Tatiana was staring at her contemplatively. After a moment, Tatiana shook her head and unlocked the front door. Allison looped her arm through Vanya’s, and the sisters crossed the threshold together.

\---

Vanya was sat at the kitchen table. Allison, from the chair next to hers, squeezed the hand she had resting on the table, both as a comforting gesture and a display of unity.

Tatiana was tottering around the kitchen, pulling mugs down from the cabinets. The man from before had yet to make an appearance, though Vanya worried for what that meant for the girl.

‘You like tea?’ Tatiana asked. The answer was technically no, but Vanya, not wanting to be impolite, simply nodded. Tatiana flipped the switch on the kettle.

Vanya stiffened, her back straight. She reminded herself what Dad had told her, not to react, not to flinch at the bad sound, that _his_ team was braver than that. Tatiana was speaking, though Vanya couldn’t focus on what was being said. Allison squeezed her hand, causing her to look up from where she’d been staring intently at the table. Tatiana was staring at her and it took Vanya a few seconds to realise that she had been asked a question.

‘I’m sorry, what?’ She asked.

‘I was asking if you like peppermint tea. Are you okay?’ Tatiana had turned fully to face her, concern written across her face. In the background, the sound of the kettle started to mellow into a soft bubbling. The tension in Vanya’s shoulders eased.

‘I’m fine,’ she replied. Allison pinched her hand. ‘Ow! Your nails are sharp!’ She cried, but her sister just gave her an unimpressed look. Her siblings and she had been trying to unlearn the bad habits their father had taught them, and for Vanya, that meant learning that she was allowed to feel things and she wasn’t a burden for not being okay. Vanya turned back to Tatiana. ‘I’m not great with certain noises. I have auditory processing disorder.’

Tatiana didn’t seem to know what auditory processing disorder was, but she nodded and turned back to pour the boiled water into the mugs.

‘I thought you were going to look into getting ear defenders.’ Allison hissed under her breath.

Vanya shrugged. ‘I did. I decided against it.’

Allison stared at her sister incredulously. ‘Why?’

‘None of you guys need them to exist.’ Vanya muttered.

‘Our brains filter out background noises. It’s not a bad thing to need accommodations.’ Allison whispered back.

_Try telling that to the general public_ , Vanya thought. ‘You’ve done your research.’ She said instead.

‘Of course I did.’

Their hushed conversation was interrupted by Tatiana placing two mugs in front of them. She sat herself down across the table.

‘I don’t know where to start.’ Vanya muttered.

‘I will start, if you want?’ Tatiana suggested. When Vanya nodded, staring into her mug, Tatiana began. ‘I was seventeen. I was swimming, I had classes with my friend, he was more than that, though our parents thought we were too young, and when I jumped in the water, I was fine. Then there was blood; a lot. I heard him call my name, but there was much pain. I gave birth to you then, surrounded by strangers.

‘My friend, he stayed by my side as long as he could, even offered to marry me, raise you together, but his parents thought I was… bad for him. They stopped him from seeing me after. And I was seventeen and a mother. My parents were supportive, though I did not expect that. But we didn’t have the resources to raise a child. Not one who could do what you could.’ She paused, her eyes softening with unfamiliar affection. ‘You did not like the loud noises, even then. One night, there was a fire and the smoke alarm was going, you cried and cried and I tried to take you out. But then there was wind in the flat. You put the fire out, maybe saved lives. You broke the smoke alarm too; tore it from the ceiling until it was quiet. Then you were calm. You stopped crying and the wind stopped too. It was… incredible. But how could we support a child with superpowers.

‘When that man-’ Here, Tatiana face clouded, and she seemed to take a grounding breath. ‘When that man came to our flat, we thought “this is a godsend”. We thought you would have a good life there with him. He said he adopted other children too; you would have brothers and sisters. You wouldn’t grow up alone with a parent who did not know how to raise a child.’

Here, Allison seemed unable to contain a derisive snort. Vanya just glanced at her sister, unable to do anything but stare blankly as she tried to process the information.

‘I looked out for the Hargreeves name in the news every day, but there was little mention for many years.

‘Then there was the uh… press conference? That man said he adopted six children with gifted abilities. But you were not there, with the others. The only girl was her.’ She gestured towards Allison. ‘I thought - hoped - maybe you were one of the boys. I did not share this idea with my parents, of course, but if you weren’t… And then he told of the powers all the children had. None of them were what you could do. My heart broke then; I thought you were dead.

‘I loved my friend, but I don’t think I truly understood the love that poets and singers talked about until I held you in my arms that day. I would have done anything for you back then. Even let you go.’ Tatiana had tears streaming down her face, clutching a crumpled tissue and dabbing at her red-flushed cheeks.

Vanya opened her mouth to speak, only to find that she couldn’t push the words out. She shot Allison a panicked look.

‘So how did you end up here?’ Allison prompted Tatiana softly, giving Vanya time to collect herself.

‘My parents introduced me to Maksim when I was thirty. He was widowed and so was okay to be with the “ведьма”.’ _("witch")_ Tatiana said bitterly. ‘I wasn’t sure about him, but Lev was gone, and you were dead. Three years later, we were married and not even a year after that I was pregnant.’ She looked down at the table, tracing the lines of the wood with her index finger. ‘I did not want another child. I was afraid to lose this child as I lost you, but Asya… Asya was so different from you as a baby, but for the first time since I gave you away, I felt alive. And I was very scared of failing her the way I failed you.’

‘You didn’t fail me!’ Vanya immediately cut Tatiana off. ’Sorry. Just… You didn’t fail me. You did what you thought was best for me. I’ve made that call, and it isn’t an easy choice to make. Leaving Harlan was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. Like you, I only had him for a month, but that was enough time to know I would sacrifice everything to keep him safe.’ She breathed deeply. ‘The point I’m trying to make is: I understand.’

Tatiana’s eyes had sparked with curiosity when Vanya mentioned Harlan. She smiled sadly at Vanya. ’This isn’t something I ever wanted you to be able to understand.’ Vanya’s eyes softened in sympathy. ‘Anyway, Maksim and I moved to London when Asya was two for Maksim’s work, and we have lived here ten years now.’

Vanya glanced at Allison then back at Tatiana. ‘Are you safe here? With him? He seems…’ She trailed off uncertainly.

Tatiana sighed, glancing cautiously at the kitchen door before speaking, ‘Maksim is angry because I will not “fulfil my wifely duties”. He does not like that I am not devoted to him because I do not love him. He calls me broken for not wanting to lie with him, but I am safe. He will not hurt me or Asya.’

Vanya caught Allison’s unconvinced expression out of the corner of her eye. She did not quite believe it herself. She frowned slightly. ‘If you are asexual, why are you with someone who doesn’t respect that?’ She asked.

Tatiana’s gaze snapped to Vanya. ‘ _What?_ ’

Vanya’s eyes widened, realising how blunt and intrusive her question was. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume…’

’No, I - I have heard a little about asexuality at work, but I never thought…’ Tatiana gazed out of the glass door, staring into the garden lost in her thoughts.

’Tatiana! Где Вы были?’ _(Where have you been?)_ A voice interrupted. The man, Maksim, appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. His expression was cloudy and only seemed to worsen when he noticed Vanya and Allison sat at the table with his wife. ‘Что эти люди делают в моем доме?’ _(What are these people doing in my house?)_

‘Они мои гости.’ _(They're my guests.)_ Tatiana replied, her shoulders tensing at her husband’s appearance.

Maksim smiled at the sisters, moving to stand behind Tatiana and placing his hands on her shoulders a little too tightly. He leaned down to kiss her neck. ‘Избавься от них, или я избавлюсь.’ _(Get rid of them, or I will.)_ He said to Tatiana. To Vanya and Allison, he merely nodded and greeted them with a ‘Nice to meet you.’

Vanya felt a burst of unadulterated fury run through her, a strong breeze swirling through the house as she stood up from the table. She hesitated, a shot of anxiety striking her chest. For all her anger, she had no idea what to actually say to this man.

‘Vanya!’ Allison’s voice cleared the haze of fierce protectiveness for the woman who gave birth to her. The breeze dropped as Vanya fell back into her seat, her sister wrapping her arm around her reassuringly. Allison turned to Maksim and forced a smile. ‘I’m sorry about that. My sister’s had a lot on her plate recently.’

Maksim shot them a disgusted look, focusing his gaze on Vanya. ‘Vanya. That is a boy’s name.’

Vanya didn’t trust herself to speak, so she just shrugged.

‘Our mum picked out our names.’ Allison explained, more to Tatiana than Maksim, but the way that she tightened her grip on Vanya’s shoulders defensively spoke volumes about her feelings towards the man stood across from them. ‘She didn’t really understand the concept of gendered names, so she picked out five names for each of us to choose from, each rooted in the country we were born in, I guess. We all picked our own names from the list based on which name we liked best. Except for Five. He just hated all of his options. Gender wasn’t something we had to factor in, it’s just something that most of us _did_.’

‘You were old enough to choose your own names?’ Tatiana asked, her voice sounding detached.

Vanya’s nose crinkled. ‘We were ten when we were given our names, though Mum had to argue the point for two years after she found out that humans typically have names, not numbers. Dad didn’t even give her permission in the end. She just did it anyway.’

Tatiana looked devastated. ‘What number were you?’ She asked almost desperately.

‘I don’t -‘

‘What number?’ Tatiana demanded again, cutting Vanya off.

’Seven.’ Vanya sighed resignedly.

A flash of white-hot rage crossed Tatiana’s face. ‘Семь. Чертовски семь. Как смеет этот человек? Если он думает, что смерть утаит его от моего гнева, он в для чертовски сюрприз.’ _(Seven. Fucking seven. How dare that man? If he thinks death will hide him from my wrath, he's in for a surprise.)_

Maksim took a step back from Tatiana in surprise as she continued to describe in detail what she would do to Vanya’s father when she got the chance. Allison leaned over to whisper in Vanya’s ear, ‘If this is her reaction to the whole number thing, wait until she finds out about the rest of your childhood.’

Vanya’s eyes widened. ‘Don’t even joke about it!’ She muttered back. There was no love lost between herself and Reginald Hargreeves, but even she felt a little bad about the anger she knew he would face when their birth mothers reached the afterlife.

‘Woah, Mama. Who’s got you so angry?’

In the chaos of Tatiana’s rage, none of them had noticed Asya slip into the room. She had grabbed an orange from the fruit bowl, and was leaning against the counter, mirth dancing in her eyes. The room went silent. ‘I didn’t mean stop.’ Asya said, binning the orange peel. She winked conspiratorially at Vanya and Allison. ‘Mama’s hardly ever angry. She only ever gets like this when someone mentions that American billionaire.’

Vanya exchanged a glance with Allison. Asya didn’t seem to notice the tension in the room, or perhaps she didn’t care. She stuck her hand out to Vanya. ‘Anastasiya Orlova, though most people just call me Asya.’

Vanya shook her hand. ‘Vanya Hargreeves. And this is my sister, Allison.’

‘Hargreeves. As in Reginald Hargreeves?’ Asya asked. When Vanya nodded, Asya turned to Tatiana, her grip on Vanya’s hand tight. ‘Mama?’

Tatiana gave a wan smile. ‘Yes, Asya. This is your sister.’

Asya froze. She dropped Vanya’s hand and walked out of the room ignoring her mother’s calls. Vanya stared helplessly after her. This certainly wasn’t how she’d thought today would go. (Not that she’d really had a positive outlook of this conversation.)

Maksim came to his senses. ‘Правда, Tatiana? Ты впустила свою внебрачную дочь в мой дом?’ _(Really, Tatiana? You let your bastard daughter into my house?)_

Tatiana rounded on him. ‘ _Твой_ дом? Тот, за который _я_ плачу деньгами, которые я зарабатываю на своей работе?’ _(Your house? The one I am paying for with the money I earn from my job?)_

Maksim stared at her for a few seconds then followed his daughter out of the room.

‘Sorry about that.’ Tatiana apologised to the sisters. ’Will you tell me your story now?’

‘I’m not sure -‘ Vanya started.

‘Papa’s packing his suitcases again. Seems permanent this time.’ Asya appeared in the doorway again, this time resting a box on her hip.

Tatiana rolled her eyes at her youngest. ‘And what do you want me to do about that?’ She asked tiredly.

‘Nothing. It was just an observation.’ Asya shrugged. She stepped towards Vanya. ‘Here. Mama kept a lot of the stuff she had for you when you were a baby.’ She explained. ‘When I was little, I started adding things I wanted to share with my older sister. You were just an idea to me back then; the baby in the stories that Mama would cry about. My favourite stories were the ones where you and I would go on adventures together. I never thought I’d actually get to meet you.’

Vanya took a moment to gather her thoughts. ‘I’m glad _I_ get to meet _you_. And maybe someday, if your Mama agrees, we _can_ go on an adventure of sorts?’

Asya held Vanya’s gaze. ‘I’d like that.’ She said softly, holding the box out to Vanya. Vanya stood up from her seat to take the box.

‘Thank you.’ She replied. She wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to hug Asya here, half-flinching with the indecision. Asya made the choice for her, wrapping her arms around her older sister and squeezing tightly. The moment was interrupted by a shutter click sound. The two girls turned to see Allison pointing her phone at them. When Vanya shot her an unimpressed look, she merely shrugged unapologetically.

’Send that to me?’ Tatiana pleaded.

Asya smirked at Vanya, nodding her head towards Tatiana and rolling her eyes. Vanya grinned. Maybe this would turn out better than she’d expected.

The front door slammed behind them.

\---

Vanya watched as Tatiana put the mugs in the dishwasher.

‘Why don’t we go to the common? It’s a nice day and we can have a picnic lunch.’ Asya suggested.

‘Yes.’ Tatiana replied with a smile. Then, more tentatively, ‘And maybe I can meet my grandson?’

‘Oh, um…’ Vanya didn’t know how to respond.

‘I think that’s a great idea!’ Allison chipped in.

‘Of course you do.’ Vanya muttered.

While Tatiana gathered food to make sandwiches (with an instruction of plain cheese ones for both Harlan and Vanya) and snacks for the whole group, Vanya took the box Asya had given her out to the boot of her car. Allison, following close behind, tapped her on the shoulder.

‘Are you okay?’ She questioned cautiously.

‘She thought I was dead.’ Vanya whispered. And then she was crying.

‘Oh, Vanya.’ Allison pulled her into a warm embrace, swaying slightly in an attempt to soothe her sobbing sister.

‘I’m sorry,’ she breathed, as her tears slowed.

‘You have nothing to apologise for.’ Allison said resolutely. ’This is by no means an easy situation for anyone, but with everything you’ve been through… It’s no wonder you’re crying.’

Vanya nodded into her sister’s shoulder. She finally gave into the urge to ask the question plaguing her since she first read the file on her mother. ’How do you think she’ll react to Sissy being my girlfriend?’

’Seems to me that she’s part of the LGBTQ+ community herself. Besides, she held onto the hope that you were trans for a while.’

Vanya nodded. She couldn’t quite argue with that logic. Then again… ‘But what if -‘

‘If she says anything, I will punch her and we can run.’ Allison insisted. ’This is what I’ve been training for my whole life.’

Vanya let out a laugh. ’Sure.’

The front door opened and shut and Tatiana and Asya joined them. Asya threaded her arm through Vanya’s pulling her ahead before she could offer to take any of the bags from Tatiana. Asya started telling her a story about her school friends, Allison and Tatiana falling a little behind, and Vanya listened with rapt attention, eager to learn more about her sister. There was also a part of her that was curious about what school was like, having been homeschooled beyond what a mainstream school would teach.

They reached the commons not five minutes later, walking out into the open grass to find a good spot to set down the picnic mat. Just as they picked a place, Vanya caught a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned just in time to catch Harlan as he rushed towards her, Mr Pickles in hand. Sissy was at her side a second later, checking her over with a concerned glance, then, seemingly satisfied, meeting her eyes and Vanya felt the tension in her shoulders disappear.

She turned back to her birth mother and her sisters. ‘Tatiana, Asya. This is my girlfriend, Sissy and my - and Harlan.’ She introduced proudly, her jaw set in determination.

Tatiana held out her hand to Sissy and when Sissy took it, she squeezed hard. ‘You treat my daughter well, да?’

‘I love your daughter, ma’am.’ Sissy responded with a level voice, oblivious to the warmth she’d caused to grow in Vanya’s chest.

Tatiana eyed Sissy appraisingly. ‘Good,’ she nodded, letting go of the crushing grip she had on Sissy’s hand. ‘And Harlan, what a handsome young man.’

Harlan shrunk slightly behind Vanya when Tatiana’s gaze shifted to him. ‘Harlan is particular about physical contact.’ Vanya explained quickly before Tatiana could reach out to him. ‘At the moment, it’s mostly just Sissy and me and a couple of his friends who he’s comfortable with.’

Tatiana nodded and instead of moving towards Harlan, sat down on the blanket. ‘Let’s eat.’

\---

The conversation at lunch was largely led by Asya and Allison, though the others chipped in every now and again. Tatiana mostly observed the way that Vanya had leaned against Sissy for comfort, the two women adapting to one another as though they were one. Their son, Harlan would occasionally tuck himself into one of their sides, his mothers happy to accommodate him. This was what Tatiana had wanted for both of her daughters: family.

When she’d lost Lev, who was the closest she’d ever felt to how people described romantic love, she was sure she’d never have a chance at the kind of family her own parents wanted for her. But right now, sat here with both of her daughters alive and well in front of her, she found she didn’t care. She was happy.

The only person missing from the picture was Lev.

\---

After they finished eating, Asya had begged Harlan to go play Pirates with her in the trees. Harlan had looked uncertainly at Vanya. ‘You can say no if you don’t want to go, but if you do, we will be right here when you get back.’ She had said to him softly.

With the two younger members of the group gone, Tatiana asked more and more questions about Vanya’s childhood. Sissy intertwined their fingers, smiling warmly at Vanya and anchoring her as she delved into an explanation of her formative years.

(At several points in the conversation, Vanya was sure Tatiana was ready to fly out to America, just to scream at Reginald’s badly scattered ashes.)

When she finally reached the end of her story (with Allison’s assistance, of course), she tucked her face into Sissy’s neck, emotionally drained.

‘I am sorry,’ Tatiana apologised. ‘If I had just -‘

‘I don’t blame you.’ Vanya said firmly. ‘Like I said before, I understand. You were so young. It’s not your fault.’

Tension she hadn’t even realised was set in Tatiana’s shoulders eased, and somehow, she looked years younger. ‘Can I - Can I hug you?’

Vanya nodded, allowing her biological mother to pull her into a warm hug.

Once the heavier conversations were out of the way, the four women were able to slip into more light-hearted topics, getting to know more about one another.

\---

At two, their picnic was interrupted by the sound of Vanya’s alarm, which she quickly turned off. She smiled apologetically at Tatiana. ‘We planned to be back on the road by two, so that we could make it back by nine. We don’t want to mess up Harlan’s sleep schedule too much.’ Vanya explained.

‘Of course.’ Tatiana replied, saddened at Vanya’s imminent departure.

Vanya pulled her notebook out of her pocket, writing out her phone number and address on a page and tearing it out. ‘Here,’ she said handing it over. ‘We can video call once a week as an arranged thing, if you want?’

Tatiana nodded, pressing her hand to Vanya’s cheek. ‘I would love that.’

They packed up the picnic blanket and moved over to the tree the kids were last seen in.

‘Harlan, it’s time to go!’ Vanya called up. Harlan emerged from above a tree branch.

‘Do you really have to go?’ Asya asked, popping up next to Harlan.

Vanya sighed. ‘Yes, but we’ll see you again soon! Tatiana was talking about maybe bringing you up to Scotland for a week in August.’

‘Really, Mama?’ Asya’s eyes sparkled at the idea. Tatiana grinned back at her daughters. ‘Okay, but you’d better keep in touch.’ Asya insisted, pointing a finger sternly at Vanya.

‘We will.’ Vanya replied, as the group walked back to the house.

When the Hargreeves and the Allaways piled into the car, Asya and Tatiana claimed hugs from Vanya (and everyone else in Asya’s case) and the goodbyes were tearful.

They waved until they could no longer see them.

\---

When Vanya finally parked the car in front of Bluebird Mains, Allison hopped out from the back seat.

‘Come on, Harlan. I’ll read you a bedtime story tonight. Give your mums time to talk.’

Vanya shook her head as the two disappeared into the house before Vanya and Sissy had even been able to get out of the car. ‘So… First I love you, huh?’

Sissy turned in her seat to face Vanya. ‘I’m so sorry, I wanted it to be so much more than that. You _deserve_ so much more than that.’

Vanya angled her body towards Sissy’s. ‘No, it was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.’ She said, smiling softly. ‘And we’re never going to be the type of people for big or grand gestures. I don’t need them. I love you, and if you love me too, then… that’s all I need.’

’That’s all I need too.’ Sissy’s smile lit up her face as she leaned in to press a sweet kiss to Vanya’s lips. Vanya leaned into the kiss, her eyes fluttering shut as she hummed in contentment. ’I love you,’ Sissy whispered against her lips.

‘I love you too.’ Vanya murmured in response, pulling back slightly.

‘If we don’t go inside soon, Harlan’s never going to go to sleep.’ Sissy said, pushing her forehead into Vanya’s.

Vanya groaned. ‘You’re right.’

Sissy pressed a final kiss to Vanya’s nose and two climbed out of the car. Suddenly remembering the box in the boot, Vanya jogged round the back of the car to pull it out. As she locked up the car and joined Sissy again, Sissy asked, ‘What’s that?’

‘Asya gave it to me. Go through it with me?’ Vanya asked, anxious about doing it alone.

‘Of course I will!’

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I may have figured out hyperlinks...? So, come find me on tumblr (child-of-peace if the link doesn't work) if you have any questions or suggestions for where this fic can go next! (Or if you wanna know the terrible and accidental joke I made whilst writing this chapter, which I can't add here because my parents read the fanfiction that I write...)
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> Speaking of, my birthday was last weekend, and my dad, whom I hadn't realised was reading my fics, got me a 'Ha Pea Birthday' card like the one Luther got Vanya in Another Year Around the Sun, and I just -
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> Fun fact: Tatiana being unsure about what to call the whole press conference thing was what happened to me when trying to write this chapter! I couldn’t think of what it was called and had to text Kaiko and rainbowgecko for help! (Kaiko tried to point me in the right direction, but I managed to confuse us both even more! At least rainbowgecko knows what she’s talking about!)
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> Also, I don't know if you guys would be interested, but Kaiko and I have been working on some ideas for an original work that we want to create, and we were thinking, once we had something solid to show for it, of posting it here? We have a lot of the lore and world created, we just haven't created anything that we are ready to share. I can say this much though, it will be gay! Let me know if this is something you'd like to hear more about!
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> Caedyro


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